All Things Back to School!

On today's episode of My Tennessee Table Podcast, we're talking about a significant life transition that has arrived for Lele's household. She has sent her youngest to kindergarten this school year! Maybe you have too! And while we can logically prepare for these types of transitions, they still can be hard to navigate. It causes our prayer life to increase and can also create margin in our lives for new things! It's exciting times! So whether you dropped a child to kindergarten, their next school grade, or to college, we're so happy to have you at the Table for today's conversation where we can process these milestones together. 

Transcript

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Welcome back to My Tennessee Table. Leigh Leigh and I get to have a great conversation today, maybe sometimes, in part, a difficult conversation about just a life transition that's happening in their home, and maybe in your home too. So grab a cup of coffee, a cup of tea, sit at the table with us and just listen to some real conversation about life that's happening, maybe in your world too. Hey, Lili. Hey, Julie. You had your cup of coffee, but we've gone through our cup of coffee and we've gone through our cup of tea. That's right. We've had some, a few little bumps this morning. We have, but we're here. We're here. We're ready to go. We're ready to talk and chat. Yes. Yes. Yes. we're thanking the Lord for wonderful neighbors who know tech. Yes, it's got things up and going. Yes. This podcast world is tricky and we are learning as we go and we love you guys and we want you to be able to hear all these conversations. So thank God for wonderful neighbors that know how to do techie things because they are bringing us to you today. Yes. Yes. Thank you. Bob. Bob. We love you, Bob. We love you, Bob. Shout out to Bob. Um, okay. Well, I mentioned, yes, there's some big things that have happened or are happening in the world, right? Yes. That sounds really dramatic, but yes, but it can feel really dramatic. So share what it is. Okay. So after 14 years of having children home with me in some capacity, I sent my baby. My youngest off to kindergarten. So we have like closed a chapter of our book, I guess, and we're moving on to the next season. And I really feel fortunate enough that in my job and what I do, I was able to have my kids in school just three days a week. So they were with me more than they weren't. I know a lot of you listening are like, well, we just went from daycare to school and, you know, we just rolled right on for me, it was a little different because I did, I had, I had. Mondays with mom and Fridays were mommy Emmy days and we just would do our thing. And now I don't have my little sidekick with me anymore. And you know, it happened with each kid, you know, Laney went off to school and didn't have her with me anymore. Then Cade went off to school. He wasn't with me anymore. But when the last one hits, you're just like, whew, okay, here we go. This is really different. And so the day that I dropped her off, it was her first day. Day, official day of school, it was a half day, so it really wasn't that big of a deal, but it, it felt like this is it. And so I took her in the class and we were probably one of the first ones there, and I just kind of sat there with her and I kept hugging her and kissing her and hugging her and kissing her some more And then the teacher was like, can I take a picture of you too? And I said, sure. So she takes a picture of us and I smiled and I was like, I, I know. I am looking just a little rough today. Could. And, um, right after we took the pictures, it was like, Oh, there came the tears. And yes, I was still sitting in the classroom and I'm like, okay, okay. So then I was, Emmy finally says to me, mommy, can you please leave now? And I was like, Oh, I lingered too long time to go. So I did, I left. And as I walked into the hallway, the tears came even more. Oh, and then I'm walking out the front doors of the school and the car rider line is still going on. So there's teachers standing in the circle and one of them looked at me and she was like, Oh honey, it's going to be okay. And at that point I am just full on sobs. And there's other parents that have just dropped off their kindergartner and they're looking at me and they're not crying. And I'm just sobbing. Sobbing, sobbing, sobbing. And I said, I know, I know I'm going to be okay. I have a 14 year old. I know it's going to be fine. And then I made my way into the parking lot and then another kindergartner mom thankfully walked up and was talking to me and she was a little teary too, not like what I was, but she was teary. And so I think talking to her was a needed distraction because had I gotten in my car at that moment by myself, I just, I don't know, I feel like the floodgates just would have not stopped. So it was a good. In a hard day, but it was good. It was good and hard. It was both of those things existing together and here we are in this new chapter of life and as I've sent her on the bus this week, you know, I've, I've watched her one day. She, she looked out the window and just waved at me with her cute little hand. And I was like, Oh no. And here came the tears again. Cause I was like, Oh, she's just so sweet. She's my baby. And she keeps saying, mommy, I'm always going to be your baby. You know, I'm always gonna, I'm like, I know. I know you are. I know you are the baby. You act like a baby. You are totally the baby, but you know, here we are and she is loving it. She is living her best life. If any of you listeners out there know my Emmy, you know, she's like a little joy bomb and she is just making friends and she's so happy and that makes me happy. Yes, there's no homework in kindergarten. So that makes me happy. Yes. And we're just. It's like loving hearing her come off the bus every day and just tell us who she played with on the playground and who she sat with at lunch and, you know, how much she loves her teacher and all her new friends. And so it's, it's a really great experience, but it really is. It's a new chapter. It's a shift. It's a shift in motherhood. Yes. So here we are. Mm hmm. So overall now it's been, has it been like a week or so? Yeah. I mean, bus riding, right. Full time bus ride. Full time all day. And you had the cutest photo. Of the first bus ride day, but the bus door open and Emmy's got her stuff, her backpack, and she's like, bye! Oh, we'll have to post that! We'll post it in our socials so you can see her, yeah, and you'll know, you'll be like, that's Emmy! And you know, you feel like, she's just gonna drive the bus to school. She, mm hmm. Because she's, you know. For being the youngest she's very I don't know maybe that's stereotypical to say but she's a confident little sister. Oh, yeah and so she's just bye. Bye real happy in that photo. Okay. So now now now, how are you doing now? I'm better. Okay. Yeah, the first week of school a Julie had texted me. She's like, hey, can we do a little bit? let's do this and I was like Julie, I don't know. I felt really overwhelmed because normally I'm used to fitting all of my work and all of my errand running and all of like, just all the things, you know, grocery store, if you're living motherhood, you know, you're trying to cram all this stuff into so many hours and I was cramming it into the preschool hours. You know, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, nine to two. So I thought that's what I'm used to. And that's what I was thinking I was headed into. And then all of a sudden I was like, Oh, this week went different. I was able to get everything done that I needed to get done. I got my work done. I got my errands run. I had dinner ready for people. I felt peaceful for once in a really long time. and it just, I felt like all of a sudden I have margin of like all this extra time in my day where I can just like. Take a deep breath for a second, instead of just going hurriedly from one thing to the next thing, to the next thing, to the next thing. So while I am missing my little sidekick, I am also really Okay, I think I'm going to like this new season of life that I'm in. I mean, I'm, I'm older to be just now experiencing this. And so this new season is just kind of breathing new life. I was telling Julie earlier, y'all know that like excited feeling that you get in your body where you kind of feel like all tingly inside and you're like, Oh, I'm really excited. Like almost like a kid on Christmas morning kind of feeling or like the night before your birthday or something like that. feel that inside of me. And so I'm like, okay, like God's doing something cause I'm excited inside. And so I'm paying attention to that to be like, okay, this is, this is a new season and I think my body likes this and I think this is going to be good for me mentally and spiritually and all of the things. So, so far. Yeah. So we're good. Yes. Good. Well, we talked about this and you touched on it a little bit and I could be wrong if I'm wrong. Sorry. Just tell me. Yeah. But a dialectic is you can have two things. Yes. And often they're opposing things happen at the same time or emotions happen the same time. So that's how you originally told me I feel this joy inside, but I was really sad at the same time. You know, the first half day. The day, which is interesting. And then you mentioned a shift. I think there's so much that happens in our minds when our babies go to school, especially our last baby goes to school. And maybe listeners, that's your experience. Like some schools start later. It could be this week for some people. It could be Monday next week for some people. So, I hope our conversation is helpful, at least just to know that we we're We get you. We have felt that way. Yeah. And in life, transition is what you mentioned. Yeah. Um, that transition means we are going somewhere. Yeah. But sometimes we get, the emotion can keep us stuck mid transition, and it's hard to remember. The new is most likely good. Yeah. Right where we're going. Yeah, where's taking us? I think earlier you were asking me like were you anticipating being sad? Like how are you feeling about all that? And I was not anticipating being sad So leading up to kindergarten starting I was like I think I'm fine. My, my close friends kept checking on me. How are you doing? Are you going, are you going to be okay? It's happening next week. And I thought, yeah, I'm fine. Like I felt fine. I, I really felt totally fine. I was not teary and I didn't see that full on sob coming till it came. So I will say if you are sending off a. kid to college for the first time, or if they're leaving the nest for the first time, maybe going off to a job somewhere like in Idaho, whatever you're experiencing, or you're like me and sending your baby off to kindergarten. A lot of times you don't know how to navigate something until you're navigating it. I did not know that I was going to be sobbing, crying until I was. Sobbing, crying and people are like, Oh, are you okay? I'm like, yeah, I really am fine. But in that moment, I remember saying to myself, like, Lily, it's okay. Just to feel these feelings. It's okay. Just to be really sad. It's okay. Just to sob it out because this is where you are today. And. Did I feel slightly embarrassed for a second, maybe for just a second as I was like walking in the hallway and I was like, Oh, I'm about to see a whole lot of people. And I'm just crying with my mascara running down my face. But in the moment I was like, no, this is how I'm feeling. I'm just going to feel this because I'm not great at feeling my feelings and I'm feeling them right now. So we're going to go with this because the Lord is doing something in my heart and my mind and my soul and my spirit through this moment of just. Sobs. Yeah. So just feel it, like be there and feel it. And that's an encouragement. I mean, it doesn't sound like it could be, but it is to, you're saying be present and then let the emotions kind of have their way. there's been transitions in life for me, like my kids have gone to college, different while similar. Um, I think part of my sadness came in who, who do I get to mom now was a thing. but you get over that. You realize that you're still their mom forever. You know, they need you. But, Um, just that transition of, I felt like I was in control of some things in their life even before they go to kindergarten, like what they had for snack and whose house they go to, what movies they're going to watch, you know, and then I send him to kindergarten for eight hours or however long it is. And I thought, Oh golly, I only get like a couple hours at night now. And that, that loss of control for, it might not have been for you, but for me that kind of generated a little bit of fear for me. And I think that probably a heaped on top of my kind of sadness that the last one was gone because I, I don't know, like what do I do with myself now and who's peanut butter am I making? You know, it's just this weird and beautiful, movement to the new thing. Yeah. And I have felt that a little bit, like I've had a moments of being like, I think I might be better. Bored, which I'm never really bored and haven't been bored in 14 years, probably. And so I'm like, this is new. What do I do with this? I even told Eric one day, I was like, maybe I should go like get a job. Like I go work at like a retail store, like a few hours. He's like, Lili, no, no, no, no. You have enough jobs. Let's just like, let's settle this down. Let's just don't go there. Enjoy. Enjoy the peaceful moments. Enjoy being bored. Find a little project in the house to do. Like, it's okay. Like just be bored for a minute. And like, you're right. You're right. Okay. You're talking about being bored. And so this morning as we were prepping and we were talking through what we're gonna talk about and then of course we're just talk. So we're having a conversation about life and, and I'm hearing you say I'm bored, which is a little bit, there's a space of margin might get a job, but then this morning you were talking about. Okay. Cool. God has just opened up a door for me to spend time in intentional prayer, because I have people reaching out to ask, would you pray for me about that? Would you come alongside me in prayer for that? And it happens to be people that. Aren't our friends from church? Yeah. Aren't really random, you know, you didn't, serve them or lead them when you were a women's pastor. This is like outside that sphere. and I don't want to share too much, because that's personal, but I'm thinking, oh my gosh, the Lord again is opening new, the newness of your journey and saying, Here you go. Yeah. You have space in your day and you know, the new mission is to pray. You have space to sit and, and you are a prayer. Yeah. You enjoy it. Yeah. yeah. You're a warrior in it. Yeah. And so what a great, I mean, just a good recognition of, oh, hey, yeah, they weren't sending me these, this many. Will you pray for me? Text prior. And now you have space for it. Yeah. I will say we could probably talk a whole another podcast episode about prayer. I'm gonna put that on the list. Yes. but yeah, I, I've always been a prayer warrior and I was telling Julie this morning, it's kind of interesting. Like when you go on staff at a church, it's not that. You forget prayer. It's just that all these other things that kind of feel urgent in the moment kind of take precedent over The prayer part and you're like, oh gosh I haven't even prayed about that and now all of a sudden I have all this space and time in my life and I'm like Oh, like I have time to pray and Literally out of nowhere. I feel I'm just getting these random text messages like, Hey, will you please pray for this person? They're really struggling or we pray for my mom or I'm really struggling my job. Can you pray for me? I don't know what to do about this. And I'm like, okay, Lord, like I feel like you're telling me it's time to buy a new prayer journal. Yes. Like, here we go. Like I'm going to start praying for all these people. So, hey. If you have a prayer request, send it my way. I'm probably going to be praying for you. So just let me know. and then the other day we were at a women's event and somebody walked up to me just so random. And she was like, Lili, one thing I always loved about you when you were on staff is I just loved listening to you pray. I loved hearing you pray out loud. And I thought, I mean, she, she had no reason to just walk. I had not prayed that night at the event. Like it was just really random. And I thought, you have no idea how that blesses my soul, especially in this moment where I'm like, just being bombarded with. I feel like the Lord's like, yes, this is your time. And I was there when that woman had come up. And interestingly, I didn't know that you had people that were asking you to pray for them. So I didn't know the connection between her comment and that until today. But I was there for the comment and it was genuine and it was warm and it wasn't really It wasn't really even like part of the topic of conversation. It was, it was. So I think, yes, the Lord gives us, sometimes we don't have extra space for the things the Lord asks us to do, but in this season that you have that space. And I might add, you are a great. Journal picker, picker, outer. Oh, cause you got me that pretty gold one. That's like my journal picking outing. And you got me great little pens. My, you know, fine point pen. Take you some journal shopping and some pen shopping. Maybe our next giveaway should be. Pins, our favorite pins and our favorite journals that would y'all like that. That'd be fun. Leave us a comment. Let us know. Yes. You got me the pretty blue and anyways, they're great. Leelee's fantastic at it. So, so the seasons change right in our lives and, and I had thought to how our prayer is enhanced when we, like you said, in a professional role, things come before you in immediacy that you need to address. Absolutely. Um, Um, maybe that prayer part comes later if we have it made up in our day and let our world fall around that. but certainly as a mom, I know that my prayer life had increased when they weren't at home and everyone was in school and our youngest Austin started kindergarten because I didn't have the immediacy of someone having an argument or somebody can't find their shoes or the laundry. Exploded. You know, I didn't have that. So now I do, I had that space to pray and my prayer life wasn't hands thinking, praying for friends, praying for teachers, praying for their learning anyways, that lack of control hopefully gives way to realizing God's ultimate control and that he wants the best for our children and for us. And so that we lean into that prayer part. Absolutely. Absolutely. Versus the worry part of the sad part in time. I mean, those are normal emotions that we need to process through, but, so you had mentioned support, like prior to taking Emmy or Emmys first day tell a little bit about that, that at the station in life that you are, you didn't really have, you know, Close friends that are walking with you because they're kids going to yes, so they'd either cross that bridge. Yeah, or maybe Don't have children. Yeah, so tell a little bit. Yeah, a lot of my friends to have support Yes, a lot of my friends I will say I think I had one friend who was sending a kindergartner off in our tight little circle, but most of them have Have already been there done that they're like years into it. And so they kept checking on me. Are you okay? Do you need to go to lunch? What about breakfast after a drop off? What about this? What about that? So just having that support group and those people checking on you, I think is so vital and so important. And I know like we talk about this community is hard and it takes work to find and it takes work. And Stepping out of your comfort zone to be vulnerable and to make those friendships So if you're not in a place of having that great support system in that that that great group of community Like just know it is hard work. It is gonna take work on your part It's gonna take just getting out of that little fear bubble and saying okay, I'm gonna do this I'm gonna I'm gonna get out of there and I'm gonna just find some friends and you just Um, just work until you find them. It's hard, but you'll, you'll eventually it'll click and you'll find your people. So keep, keep, this is my encouragement. Keep looking for those people because you need them when, when times happen where you're sad and you're sending your kids off to kindergarten, your kids off to college or whatever it is you're walking through. It's so good to have that community of people in that support around you. So hear me say, I know it's hard. I know it's hard. But keep, keep at it. Yeah. Yeah. Well, we had moved to Tennessee just two years ago, two and a half years ago. And it is, it is, well, I, we were, we were richly blessed because of the neighborhood we moved into. So we had people that pursued us, but sometimes that doesn't happen. And so it is, it is hard to find friends. I would say for sure, start with prayer for those people that will become your community for sure. and we don't need. Yeah. No. The Lord, you know, sometimes we just, if we have one, right? One or two. Yeah. Is great. So, that is helpful. So I was thankful for that. Yeah. That you had community around you. Yes. In that moment. Because it can be. Yeah. Find your people. It can be tricky to navigate. Yeah, find your people. And, we're gonna have an episode here Um, I don't know when it's coming, it's coming about community, which is so good. And it's a little more on the, just, what do I want to say? Social, emotional, physiological, scientific, biblical. Yeah. We had an interview with a friend who is, multiple degrees you know, history and experience in it, but a wonderful, super fun person to that super little bit knowledgeable. Oh. Wise. You guys are going to like this episode because it's just going to give you a little background more than Julie and I could give. Yes. Yeah. Yes. And she's really interesting. Yes. So I think you'll really, but again, about community. So one last thing, if you could, give a little, just a nugget or a little suggestion for those that maybe have kindergartners going next week, right. Maybe it's coming up. now being on this side of it? What would you say? What would you tell them? I would say, feel your feelings. Like let yourself feel, like I said, I was not expecting to be sobbing, crying, and then all of a sudden I was. And instead of being like trying to hold it in, which is what I would have normally done in the past, I really would have just been like, Ooh, push that down, push that down. literally I would have given myself a headache trying to push those tears down. Um, don't let it go. Do that. Just cry. Just let it flow. I have a, I had a good friend and she, I just loved how she could just let the tears flow. When I was around her, she would, if something was sad or upsetting her, the tears would just flow. And I thought, Oh, I wish I could do that. Like, I bet that feels so good to just let that come out. And so I would say, just feel your feelings. Just let, let the tears flow if you need to, because. If you don't let them flow, it's going to come out later. It's going to be like a burst outburst of anger a week later, or it's going to be just a buildup inside of you. That's just going to need to come out. So just. In the moment, just let it come out, feel your feelings, cry, you know, if you need a hug, find a friend that can hug you, like just get it out, feel your feelings guys. Yes. Good. That's great counsel. Good. Good. Well, we've been wanting to do this one, talk about this back to school and it worked out just great that we did it today. So thank you for being vulnerable in it. And we'll see you next time. You didn't cry today. I didn't cry today. That is so good. I was, I was so ready to just hold your hand if it happened. No, I think, did we get tissues out? I don't remember. But, I had one. Okay. But now I don't have it. But, so, it, it all worked out. But, thank you for being vulnerable and, And just having the conversation. So we're so glad y'all met us at the table today. If you have enjoyed your time with us, would you please just hit the follow button on the podcast and you can rate it or leave a review. Lele and I had supper last night together with our husbands. It was a blast and we read reviews together and y'all, you have just blessed us more. I might cry now. I may need a tissue. You have blessed us. More than you know, so those are really meaningful to us. So we appreciate that. So Until next time at my Tennessee table blessings to you all