Friendship: the highs and lows

On today's episode, we're talking all about Friendship! One of the biggest blessings God has given us. The joys of friendships and all it brings to our lives, and also how occasionally friendships take a turn and go south, or even end. So how do we move past those painful moments and into new friendships? It's all in today's episode. It's a full one! Let's get started...

Transcript

juli-_1_09-06-2024_132201: 0:01

Y'all welcome to My Tennessee Table. We're so thankful you're joining us today from wherever you are. Y'all are listening from all over Wyoming and Tennessee, Washington, even Italy. This Tennessee Table is growing and it makes us so happy to have more friends at the table. So, on today's episode, that is just what we are talking about. Friendship, one of the biggest blessings that God has given us. Given us the joys and all it brings to our lives. And then how occasionally friendships can take a turn and go south or even end. And so how do we move past those painful moments into new friendships? Well, it's all in today's episode. It's a full one. So let's dive in. Hey, Julie, it's good to be back. It's so good to be back. And It's exciting to be talking about, well, kind of exciting. I'm a little bit like nervous about talking about friendship today. Adult friendship and adult women. Cause we know how complicated we are, so we get it. It's hard. Friendships are hard. So today we're going to be talking about all the things about friendships, the good, the bad, the ugly, because when friends are friends forever, Until they're not. It's hard. It is so hard. I feel like we built it up. It's going to be really positive today. We are, there's going to be positives about this friendship. But again, we're talking about real stuff. Yeah. And life with relationships sometimes is messy or hard. Yeah. And we say this, I think probably at the beginning of every episode, but we don't have it all figured out. And we're kind of going to talk about how it's Well, mainly me don't have it figured out when it comes to friendships, but I think that that's the beauty of it is that maybe you guys can learn something from what we've experienced. I hope, I don't know, maybe you're just going to be like, yeah, I'm right there with you. And I don't know what to do about that. So yeah, I'm excited to kind of dive into this and. Julie, you are really good at making friends because you moved here just like two years ago and I feel like you were just kind of like that friend maker. Like it's like hard to not be your friend in a good way, not in like a, Oh wow. She just really wants to be my friend. She's an eager beaver. She's pretty needy. She's not needy. Or she needs help. We love her. We love her. She's just, you're just so, you're so friendly. That's what it is. You're so friendly. And that's why it's easy for you to make friends because you're just, you're just warm and lovely and all the things. So anyway, tell us about a little bit about moving here and having to make new friends. Cause that's, that's hard. And we'll talk a little bit more about that even deeper into this episode. previously when I was in Washington, I worked at a church and so people are generally kind at church. They want to be your friend. They invite you to things. I want to spend time with you. And then moving here, my husband works, from home, although he does travel a lot. So when he's home, he's here. And so it's hard for him to make a friend base, but I generally, had a place to go to make friends. Hadn't found a church home yet. So I was so eager, Lili, that when we were There it is, eager beaver. Eager beaver. When we were unloading pods. I'd have an armful of stuff and Lance would be like carrying something. I go, oh, oh, oh, wait, someone's walking by. So I'd have to be like, hi, hi, we're new. Lance is like, oh my gosh, we are never going to get moved in this house. Cause she just keeps talking to people who walk past I don't know. I, I think, I think everybody wants to have a friend. Maybe that's my take on it that I'm thankful for the friend, but my hope is that I could be. Um, now listen, not everybody took me up on it lately. I did. I did. I was so thankful. You were new too to the street. So we're like, we're the newbies. Uh huh. Let's stick together. Band together. We have great neighbors though. They were very kind to us. So, all the things that people desire in a friendship, right? We did. That you, yearn for, you know, to make you better, encourage one another. You have support. It makes life fun, to have your people, those people that just get you, you know, like you're at the, I don't know, business Christmas party from across the room and you just catch eyes with your person, your friend, and it's either like going really good or like. Get us out of here. Save me. Save me. Save me. Right. Just the people that get you without having to like explain a whole big whole bunch or support you, can read you. That's such a, that's such a blessing. So I don't know if I'm great at it as much as I want friends and want other people to have friends too. Yeah. And I'm thankful to the Lord for that desire. I think he like slapped the personality on me that fits that. I think it's harder when that's not who you are exactly as far as personality goes. You are an extreme extrovert, we should say. Yes. And yeah, if you're an introverted person, I can see how that would be. Cause I'm not an introvert either, but I can see how that would be really hard to like, get out of your comfort zone and be like, Oh God, I've got to go talk to that person. Like with words, like I'd rather just go home and read a book, then do that right there. So, I mean, I can see how it's all depending on how you're wired and, you know, just, how God made you on how easy it is just to get out there and get some friends. But we talked earlier about how, just friends can be there for a season. Like there's, there's seasonal friends. Sure. Like a lot of times it's easy to make friends because you are, well, let's say like childhood friends, you're at school with them every day. Right. So those people were your friends because you were kind of forced into being friends with them because you were, they were in your class and you were like, okay. And then, you know, you continued on the friendship. And so maybe. You have childhood friends and then there's the friends you made in college, which, you know, if you were in a sorority or if you weren't in sorority, if you were in part of a campus ministry or if you were in some kind of club, those that just happened so naturally, I'm sure just to make friends with those people that you're around. And then there's the friends that you make through a job. And then the friends that you make because they're your neighbor or the friends that you make because you're parenting kids that are the same age, or maybe you don't have kids, but you're married. And so they're your husband's. Coworkers wife, right? Becomes your best friend. I mean, it's like all these circles, all these different circles and different places where you can make friends. And sometimes those friendships can end just because seasonally they yes. Yeah. Not because it's, bad. And I think, I think as we live longer, we realize Oh, okay. There's been a shift of seasons rather than that person doesn't like me anymore. I mean, do you have friends where, oh, you know, okay, we've lived in Wyoming, we've lived in Washington, we lived in other places previous to that and, or even a childhood friend. We don't talk to them every week, every month, maybe not even every quarter, you know, but when we do. We're right there. We haven't missed. Do you experience that? Oh, yeah, for sure. I mean, I would say one of my college best friends, we probably talk maybe a couple times a year. Sometimes we go through phases where we're better. And then sometimes it's been months, but it's like we pick up and we are right there. And I know exactly what she's talking about. I can just dive deep and know exactly how she's feeling. Feeling in those moments because we just have a lot of history together, And I, was thinking when you're saying that to you again, it goes back to their seasons and friendship. There's purposes and friendships. There's needs in friendship. And I'm hearing all of that. And what you're saying, maybe there's something going on in her life that she's like, I'm calling lately. Because she gets me because there's a need and the purpose that you provide in her life, whatever it is, it's encouragement. It's just a listening ear. I have a really great friend here and she will tell you, I'm not your advice giver. I'm not like, if that's what you're coming for, it's not me and that's okay, but she will listen. She will empathize. She will cry with you. You if you're going for her. Tell me what to do. I need traction. Yeah, and it's okay because there's different friends within our life. Yeah, different purposes or needs, you know, we had, friends with other parents when our babies were growing up now because we had kids younger. My blessing was that these parents were about nine, eight, 10 years older than us, but kids the same age as us. Oh my gosh. The Lord knew we needed it. We were like, what are we, 19 and you were babies, trying to raise babies, you know, and they were mature, more mature than us farther in their walk with the Lord. Made logical parenting decisions, you know, so they were our people. Yeah I mean all the way till the kids were probably in high school. Do we still love them? Yes Yeah, don't live with them near them anymore And then I think again the changing of the seasons as your kids go to college, At least for us we experience unless you really work At those friendships that were embedded in sitting shoulder to shoulder at a volleyball game or go into a choir concert at school together. When that unifying factor of your kids is removed, it's a little more difficult. And that's a changing that friendships just can kind of. Fizzle out. Not necessarily because it's negative. When you were talking just a minute ago, it reminded me of this book that I read. It's Find Your People by Jenny Allen. And she talks about there are different friends for different needs in your life. Like there's the fun friend and there's the truth teller friend and there's the, I don't know, advice. I don't remember them all. So don't quote me on this. You can read the book for yourself. I'm sure it was really good. Jenny Allen. It's just been a couple of years. So, there's all the different kinds of friends that you have in your life. And hopefully You have most of those people and maybe you're not as close to the fun friend or maybe you're not as close to the truth Teller friend, but hopefully you have those people in your circle and if you don't definitely try to find them for sure Or if you have them, I think like I had said until I had like identified my sweet little friend That's like i'm not your advice giver. Yeah, I would I wasn't sad. We'd meet and I'd be like, Oh, it's kind of hope when I was going to get like, you should do this. And that doesn't happen. But now I know I'm like, it helps you go, Oh, I see what you're saying. Margaret is my truth teller. And Mary is the fun one, always up for whatever, you know, it's nice to think about it. So there's not discouragement in some form or fashion and searching for what you want or need. there's other reasons why friendships just kind of fade. I wanted to, well, I did say, I said, go South because, there's lots of reasons that can happen. They don't all end necessarily, but, we can have some bumps along the way. I think conflict, is a, you know, I think it's really interesting in my own. Maybe I should speak for myself in my, relationships or just because how I made, if, if conflict were to happen, I see conflict as two people coming to the battle line. I'm not a battler. I, I don't really love conflict and I don't really maybe. I'm so attached to whatever I want enough to fight for it now, if it involved my kids or some sort of value base or my Jesus, yes, I would say something. I'm probably not going to argue with you. but I do think conflict happens in relationships and we friendships and oftentimes one or the other can swallow it down. Swallow it down, push it down. And then we have some unresolved conflict. And in doing a little research for today, it was interesting. one writer, was talking about that. We have to care enough, we have to care enough and be brave enough. I'm not sure. Care enough about the conflict. Is it that big a deal care enough about the person and brave enough to kind of talk it out? Cause you'll have a deeper intimacy in that relationship if you do it. Oh, for sure. You know, if you want to, but oftentimes, I know I say oftentimes we don't always do that. There's a conflict or a break and you're like, peace out. And sometimes that's wise. that's another kind of relationship. Um, shift shift. Yeah is boundaries sometimes the other person after however many years or time together Just is not getting it. Like I do have a boundary on my time or there's not What's the word? like a give and take. There's one person that is giving more and one who's just taking, taking, taking, Mm-Hmm. That is one. In seasons, like there's seasons where we're needers, we're not takers. We're needers. if you have a death of a spouse or loss of a job or you're ill, like, there's times that we're a needer, but when that's kind of your dance in your relationship, We've talked, we've tried, I can't, it's not working for me. like we said in the intro, sometimes things just end relationships, friendships and for sure. And, They can end, in a manner that's not life giving to both people at times abruptly. So I wanted to ask you if you'd be willing to share just a little bit and, about an experience you had about loss of friends or friendship. Yeah. I, I mean, I want to be really careful here because I have had relationships that have ended and it was really. hard and really hurtful and yet I am still a lover of people and I still love those people and I still love them and care about them even though they are not in my day to day life anymore. a few years ago I had this amazing group of friends. I mean, I'm telling you like soul sister kind of friends. And we walked Through a lot of crap together, like there was just stuff that happened just in each of our lives personally that we just walked through with each other and and it was just it bonded us in a way and Gave us depth and gave us just I don't know that beauty And so those were my people and I loved them so much, so, so, so much. And then it was kind of like a, a bomb went off and there was a crisis and those friendships went South and they went South fast and it was like, I'm sorry, I just can't be your friend anymore. And for someone like me who loves my friends dearly and just is like, what, what is going on? What did I do? Da da da da. What happened? What happened? I mean, I knew what, But I knew what was happening. There was just stuff going on behind the scenes that was just kind of causing this abrupt ending. But at the same time, I'm like, but why, why are you leaving me? And someone, Personally, like me, who has dealt with probably my biggest fear is abandonment because of my past and just dealing with that as a child with a, you know, a parent that leaves, you kind of go back to that place of like, I feel so abandoned in this moment. And that was really, really hard for me. And those people are such. They're good people too. They love the Lord. Like it just, it was circumstantial and I look back now and can kind of see that. but then what is interesting is that the exact same time that that was kind of fading and abruptly ending, I was meeting with this, we'll call it the new group of friends. I was meeting with a new group of girls that I knew. I knew fairly well. I knew some of them better than others and we were going through a book study together and we had just started when this all happened. I think even the first time we met we were at a Panera sitting around a table and I was just in tears sobbing. Like this, this friendship that I just have loved and just, Has been that person for me for so long has just ended. And I just feel lost and lonely and abandoned And they just carried me through that season. And in some ways it gave us a level of like depth. Like we were just right off the bat, like, okay. This is what you're walking through sister and let's just walk through it with you and they were all obviously they were my friends at the time, but we didn't have that history and that depth. We hadn't walked through things together yet, but I feel like the Lord just kind of launched us into that right away. And so that friendship, those friendships have become some of my closest friends today. But I will say that because of walking through what I walked through at that time, I still have moments with that group of friends where I'm like, okay, When's the shoe going to drop? When's the crisis going to hit? And we're all just going to like flee. Or when am I going to be too much or not enough for them? And they're going to be like, Lili, I just can't do this anymore. Like we just can't be friends. Like I do have that cautionary part of me and my friendships now, because of having walked through that. So that's something that I think the Lord just has to deal with me on and work through me, to get me to a place where I can be Be fully present with, with those friends and be able to handle that and walk through that, whatever crisis hits us in the future, because there are going to be crises in your friend groups. And that's why we have each other and that's why God gives us those communities. But also think, you just kind of, you don't know until you know, and then you just have to walk through it. you mentioned, what happened, how you walk through it and, and the trigger of. Your past of your mom and dad divorcing and feeling like, Oh, I'm feeling all of all of that again. And how, and that's significant. You mentioned lost loneliness, abandoned. Those are real Emotions that are somewhere around there, Yeah. Until, we put a match to them. Something happens and then they're just woo. Oh, yeah, you are feeling it. And it's good that to identify. those emotions. And also makes my heart sad, but I can understand how you would think this is going really good. I'm going to hold my breath, and that's just, you've, you've come from something that was traumatic for you, you know, emotionally. So how did the Lord help your heart in the midst of that? Obviously you were sitting in a new Bible study, doing a new study with women. Thank you, Jesus. Yes. were there, were there any other ways? Yeah, that Lord brought some comfort or even just held your hand through the yuck of it. Yeah, definitely. I mean, when all this went down, we had just moved into a new house and when I say we moved, we moved from one side of town to the other, which felt like a big move. And so that was happening at the same time. I just quit my job at the church. So all of this, I know there was just a lot going down. I'm like kind of shocked. I'm still here guys, but here I am. So, I would say like through walking through like all those things kind of simultaneously, I feel like the Lord was just like, I'm stripping you of all of these things. I'm taking all of these things that you know, away because I want to, I want to remind you of who you are. I want to be the one that you're running to, that you're talking to, that you're clinging to because I am like such a relational person. Like I love, like I said, I love my friends. I love, love them. Maybe I love them to death. Maybe that's why my friendships ended. I don't know. Maybe I love too much, but I think that God was like, I want your love. So let's remove all these distractions and let's. But like, let's get back to the basics lately, like, let's go back to our relationship. And so I think through that time, I do think the Lord just really gently, like just loved me through it. walked with me, reminded me of how loved I am, reminded me of who I am. and, I can get also very caught up in being liked by people. Like I'm like, I want you to like me and I'm going to make you like me And I think that the Lord tried to, well, and is still working through that in me, but Just using that experience to say, you know, not everybody's going to like you, Lili, and that's okay. Like I've made you this way and I want you to live this way and I want you to know how much I love you and that I've created you to be like this for a reason. And maybe it's not for everybody and that's okay. Like just rest in that, like rest in me, rest in my love for you. And when all else fades, just remember I'm the one. Like. I'm the one who loves you more than anything. Yes. So for me, it was just coming back to that relationship with him over the friendships and the jobs and the house and you know, the, the familiarity of the things that I had that were all of a sudden gone. so now from that point, what do we do? how do we navigate new friendships? Where do we look? Do we hunker down, shelter up, take a minute? Because we go through a lot in that. I think it's validating to identify there's a season of grief. in friendships when we're hurting or we've been hurt, it's not, it's not like Okay. noticed by society, right? Your neighbors, even if you have a deaf in the family or, a child who's ill, these are significant. Like people know these are heavy things, We don't go around telling people, I've lost my best friend, you know, I mean, I mean, we could, I suppose, but I think that's not met with the same kind of sympathy. Yeah. all the time. And so, but it is, we grieve that loss. Oh yeah. We grieve loss of history of kids, parties of fun trips together with the girls or crying it out to get like, we grieve what, what we had and knowing that I guess we're not going to have that with this person anymore. I mean, I definitely experienced the grief of that and I, I do feel like I still experienced the grief of that. There are things that happen or things that we did together that I think, Oh, we used to do that together. We used to watch that or we went to this place and did this thing together. And that meant so much to me. And like, I see what God did through me during that time. And like, I wouldn't be who I am if I hadn't walked through that whatever thing with that person. I think about like the hotel rooms that we got to share in the late night talks and those kinds of things. And just how much I love. Loved the people that have been in my life before and just the grief that you do experience when you lose that person and then they're, they're just gone, but they're still here. Yes. Oh, yes. Right. That's different. It is. It's different because you're like, am I going to bump into them in the grocery store? What do I do? These are real, real thoughts, real happenings. And I mean, I thought of it that way. I do think you have to also ask the Lord, what, when am I supposed to do if I run into this person in the grocery store? What do you want me to do? Yeah. Pray about what's going on. Cause I want to literally run the other direction out of the grocery store and go hide in my car until I see them pull away. But that is probably not what the Lord would have me do. So what, what Lili, what would you do if you ran into that person in the grocery store? And so I do think we have to think through those things and process through that to know. Cause we are a. Obviously, we are believers. We are Christ followers. So as a Christ follower, we don't want to be mean to people. That's the last thing that we want to do. So how does that, how does that look like? What is it going to look like if you see that person again? Yeah. Like we face the awkward knowing it's going to be awkward. Maybe, I mean, maybe the Holy Spirit will wash you with peace and it's not as awkward as it could be, but you're right to be brave in the Lord and to go into the grocery store and pray. He gives you words to say. Yeah. And you're going to survive it. I mean, literally I've thought about this and I've thought, I, I know in my flesh, I'm either going to want to run the other way or I'm going to like smother that person in hugs and possibly just cry and not say anything. So I don't think either are the right way to go. Maybe somewhere in the middle is where God has me, but yes, but I mean, you know, it's like, I know what my flesh would tell me I should do, but. Well, yeah. Lord have me do. Sure. Again, based on the hurt and the, the length of the relationship and our personality, how we're going to react, whether it will be angry or sad or whatever. That's so, I never thought about that. It's a loss, but you will see them again. So interesting. And then you had touched on one point too, that just to have hope that not all relationships will be like that. Friendships. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Each, group of friends that you have, it's not going to end in a way that's negative or hurtful. you can thrive in with the right people in the season, That the Lord will bless. And, when we love deeply the op, no, I don't want to say the opposite, but the other end of the pendulum is sure true to, we hurt because we love, and so it's difficult. Okay. So if we're going to make some new friends. We're going to look for new friends, whether because we've moved or because the friendship has ended or college is done or we're taking a new job. What do we do? Where do we go? Where do we go? I mean, what are your thoughts? I mean, again, we don't have all the answers. No, no, we're not pros at anything actually. Maybe we should do it. And we know that this is hard. So I will say, when I, so let me back up, we moved to Ohio for a little blip of time, like literally we were there for three months, like bought a house. it, but it was like one of my friends described it as, she was like, Lili, it's like, it's like when Abraham went to sacrifice Isaac and the Lord was like, Oh no, you don't, you don't have to. Yep. And he, he brought me right back. And so anyway, when I moved to Cincinnati, I. Got there and I was like I gotta make some friends cuz like I said I'm a relational person and I'm like I need I need people it was winter there like winter in Ohio It's like gray and snowy and I'm from South Alabama. So this is like real different for me I'm like, where's the sunshine in the green grass? I'm not three hours from the beach anymore. Oh god. No you are So, I went to a church. There was a church that I had heard about there, that I had heard great things about, and I thought, where's the women's group? I am going. Amen. And let me tell you, that even me, the extroverted, like, I love friends, I want all the friends, pulled up in the parking lot of that church the first time and told myself, put on your big girl panties. We've got to go make some friends. And I prayed. And I was like, Lord, help me, help me to walk in there and just find the right people. Help me to talk and share and not be too quiet or not be too loud. Like just help me to be the right amount of me, me that I need to be in this situation in order to make friends. And I walked in there and I sat at this table. table and I made a friend. In fact, she invited me over to her house like a week later and then I was like, oh yeah, we're moving back to Nashville. Thanks for being my friend for a week. But, but the Lord provided a friend in that moment for me when I needed one and it was through the church. So I will say, I'm so grateful. Like we said, we are Christ followers. So as Christ followers, we tend to run to the church and try to find friends. And I know that does not always work. Like, hear me say, it does not always happen. But if you are new to a town or if you have lost some friends and you are trying out a new church, put your big girl panties on and go try to make some friends. And then walk into that church because you can find hopefully some people there. They may not be your people, but maybe there'll be your people for a season to get you through. Yes. Like we talked about seasons when we moved here and my husband again travels for work. So I volunteered for. coffee ministry at church because I thought, okay, I don't know how to make good coffee, but I can do like the burr, just pour it out, hand it to people. They need people to do that too. And, I did that again. I'm an extrovert as well, like you and I just walked behind the counter, just took a deep breath. Like, okay, I know none of these five people and I'm here to um, but, I went home that first Sunday and thought, I know four people, five people's first names. There you go. I feel like, it was just a ease to my heart to think, I mean, I'm going to get there. I'm going to make some friends. So again, finding a church home, a women's Bible study. Jump in a ministry and serve somewhere and you have a small group of people that, you know, and who care about you, neighbors. I'm a big neighbor person. and I know, I don't know circumstances either. Sometimes like condo or apartment or it's hard to, you don't see your neighbors maybe as much. You're not out in the yard. I don't know, but maybe your neighbors are spies and they don't ever come out of their house. That could be too, which makes me want to know them even more. I know, right? Tell me more about you. Can I have you over for dinner? but Neighbors Work is a place? I would say even, we're in a season where we're playing lots of kids sports, and my son is playing travel soccer now, and we are spending a lot of time with these same people at the soccer field, and so we're making friends that, like you said earlier, that we're sitting shoulder to shoulder with watching our kids play soccer, and so that's another great way to make friends, is just And sometimes, I've noticed this, sometimes they're the parents that, that when you bring up your little, uh, a foldable chair or whatever, that they'll, they'll set their chair up far away. You know? And I think, okay, either they have friends and they're coming. And they, they're just like, I'm good. I don't need to make friends with the people on the sports team or they're introverts. make friends. Through your kids activities, through their sports, through whatever they're doing, that's a really easy connect point. Go to your, go to the festivals at the, at the kids schools. Go to the, if your kid's in middle school, go to the football game. Even if your kid isn't playing football, maybe go sit in the bleachers and like, look around and be like, does anybody kind of look like me that might? Maybe they, they could be my friend, like, just look around, open your eyes and look around and put yourself out there again. That's easier for some people than others. you know, the kid connection is an easier one because you're scheduled out like every Friday is whatever, every Wednesday is soccer. Like you don't have to call them and go, Hey, are you free? You just run into those parents at those things. I think other connecting opportunities, I see, I don't know who they are, but on Saturdays. There's these people that run every Saturday downtown Franklin, they're like in little groups. Oh yeah, a running club. Running club. Yeah. So if there's like, if there's a boot camp thing, you know, workout, if there's a, I don't know, gardening society. Go to the Y. Go to the YMCA. I love the YMCA. So I'm just going to plug it here real quick, but go to the Y. Go to a class, they have boot camp class, they have strength training class, whatever you like. Go to one of those classes and then just kind of like feel it out afterwards. Like who wants to stay and kind of chit chat with me for a second. And that was one of the suggestions I had written down. Ask somebody. You know, that you run into or you usually chit chat with that boot camp or Pilates and say, Hey, do you want to catch coffee afterwards or next week? or again, neighbors have a little fire pit with s'mores in the driveway, you know, low key, you don't have to clean your house. Nobody's going to see it. You set up the fire pit and you could do s'mores or they could pot like whatever, however you want to do it. So ideas just to get people together. Well, it's been great to talk about the topic of friendship. It is so deep. Again, we opened by seeing it's just such a blessing that the Lord has given us each other. Giving us people to spend life with. So I hope that it was meaningful to you for us to talk about it and just, we wish we could sit with you. We wish we could be your person. And, and we pray that if you're looking for new friendships for whatever reason, that the Lord provides graciously and beautifully for you in that. and we're going to be thinking about you. In that too. So thanks again for listening. And if you would be willing to follow the show, that would be wonderful. And even maybe share it with a friend would be great too. Would be so appreciative and grateful for that. So, thanks again for joining us at the table until next time. Blessings.