What I'd Tell My Younger Self

Here's a fun question! What would you tell your younger self if you had the chance? Well, that's just what we're chatting about today at My Tennessee Table! Whether your "younger self" refers to 10 years ago, last year, or even last week, everyday gives us an opportunity to become a little wiser. So listen in as Lele and Juli share their thoughts on what they would tell their younger selves. Today's episode is a fun one! 

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Transcript

juli-_1_10-01-2024_184726: 0:01

Hey everybody, welcome back. We are wrapping up season one of My Tennessee Table And we are so excited that you guys have taken the time to listen to us this season We have really enjoyed just getting to be with you in your cars or as you're doing your laundry or as you're cleaning your kitchen we just I've loved every second. So thanks you guys so much for tuning in. I'm here with Julie. And she, you guys, if you guys are following us on socials, you guys might have seen what I saw, which looked like we got hacked in our stories. There was this random post and I was like, this is so amazing. And I'm like, I messaged Julie. What, what's going on? What is that? That is so funny because I thought you said, what is that like, Oh, that's so cool. But it was like, who's gotten into our Instagram account? Who's hacked us? You did say we got hacked on theme though. We did. It was totally on brand. So for everybody who follows us on socials at My Tennessee Table, if you saw Julie's Uh, story this last week. I want her to give us a little bit of kind of the backstory of where she was and what she got to go to. So tell us, where were you last week? for drawing out the story. Lily is so good at this of the story part. Cause I'm like the, Oh my gosh, this is so great. And Lily's like, I still don't understand where you went or what happened. So I'm going to back up and give the story. So if you did see on socials, my Tennessee table, There was a real, I'm not a dense story and a real, I can't remember. I'm not great at all of that, but anyways, it was a choir. He was singing with a choir director. Well, I was there, so nobody hacked us and I was recording. I had a couple of recordings. That one didn't have a whole lot of my voice. That's why it got posted. But, um, I had a friend, we had lunch together and she said, Hey, have you heard of the choir room since you've. You know, move to Nashville. I said, I don't even know what that is. And she said, well, it's a group of people that just meet up. It's a random, I shouldn't say random, different location each month we come together and we are just one giant choir. And I thought, okay, well, that sounds super fun. I still didn't know a whole lot, but like, I'm going to do it. So she said, sign up on their social. Through their bio, the choir room did it, got the little newsletter, get a ticket. It's for a donation. So if you can't afford to donate anything, you can still get a ticket. It's just space is limited. So it came up, I did it, got my ticket. Didn't think I would, but I did. So excited. So then I called my friend Donna. I'm like, Hey, are you going to go? And she's like, Oh, I have group. I can't go. And I'm a giant extrovert. So I'm like, what? I'm going. And I sang for years. I haven't for a long time, but I love that just environment, even at church praise and worship on Sundays. Sometimes I just, I don't even sing. I listen because I love that. So I thought, well, I can at least listen. So anyways, I go, it's about an hour away. We had storms that night. I kind of debated whether I should go or not. doors opened at six. I was there. I was ready. Yeah. I thought it began at six. It didn't begin until seven. So it was okay. I was early. I had your little first timer hat on my first time hat. Of course. Cause I got in there and there were like no friends sitting by me cause I was early, you know, but people had to sit by me as they came later. But can we be friends? Hello? Can we be friends? So, Dewan Hill leads it now. He's a worship Leader at another church. I don't even know the name of the church where he does. This is just something they're doing just out of the love of Jesus and the love of their heart. So, we went in, you could sit in soprano section, alto tenor, or a whatever section. If you don't sing, you don't know what you think you sit in that section. And then he teaches all of it just by, um, singing it to you and then say, sing that. So we do it to the Sopranos. Uh, and then he goes, uh, and then tenors, you know, and he's like, no, saying it in the band who are amazing or in the middle. And so warmups girl, I, I almost just came out of my skin. I thought I get this for two hours because it was so beautiful. And they, they do say, you know, this is, This is our, I don't know why I wanted to say it, not our practice, but this is what heaven's going to be like. Yeah. We're all in the room, different voices, different, backgrounds, different ethnicities, and it's all for one. So there's no superstars here. There's no, you know, praise team who generally is better than other people, you know, in the room. We all just sang and worshiped and I was exhausted and it was beautiful. So if you ever get a chance. Get a ticket and go to the choir room wherever they happen to be. That's so cool. I really think I'm going to like try to go to do it. Yeah. You're going to do it. I love that. We can go together. This is totally your jam. Absolutely. Oh, I love it. I love it. You would just love it. Yeah. Well, that's so cool, Julie. Thanks for telling everybody what that was. Yeah. Well, you're welcome. Thanks for asking. I'm asking and really had no heads up because I didn't even tell you that I went or that I was going to post it. What is this? I should have invited you. I would have gone. Probably. Yeah. I would have loved that. Next time. Anyway, that's cool. So that's what that was. Everybody who follows us on social. Yeah. We're not even talking about that today. No, we're not. We wanted to mention it for sure. Yeah. So that you guys weren't like me going, who hacked us? So thanks for sharing. You're welcome. And thank you, Donna, for inviting me. So now you're all invited. Okay. Let's all go. Let us know if you're going to go, we'll meet you there. So today's episode is not about the choir room, but it is about what we would tell our younger self. It is. I'm so excited. So Julie brought up this topic to me, a few weeks ago and she was like, I think I have a really great topic episode for us for, for the podcast. I'm like, okay, great. Spill it. What is it? She's like, what would you tell your younger self? I was like, Oh yeah, I like that one. I like that one. So I kind of sat with it for a few days. And, some of you guys have heard me talk about this before on the podcast is that we moved into our house like two years ago. Well, I still have a whole closet upstairs that has not been unpacked. And so a couple of weeks ago I was like, you know what? It's just time to rip the bandaid off to get it done. I got to get up there. So went upstairs and I'm, Kind of just like marinating on this topic that Julie has shared with me about what would I share with my younger self? And i'm unpacking all these boxes that have been just in a closet for two years. I mean you would think Why didn't you just burn them at that point? Like you don't even know what's in them So anyway, Yeah Well, I pull everything out of this closet and I start unpacking and it's like some boxes are like toys Some boxes are like our family games and then I get to this one box I'm like Oh, this is my books. These are like all my books that like my favorite books that I didn't even know were missing. Like we have redid our house. We put these, some built ins in our den and they have shelves on them. And I remember when I was putting stuff on the shelves, I was like, man, is this all the books I have? This is really weird. I just really thought I had more books than this. Well it's because they're all in this box. So anyway, I'm unpacking this box full of books and as I'm doing it, I'm finding all these. My favorites, just things that I've had for like 20 something years now. And also within that box, I find some old prayer journals. These journals are like 12 years old. Maybe some of them older than that. Maybe some of them a little bit newer than that, but. Like pretty, pretty old. And so I opened them up and I'm like, just sitting there, just having a moment reading through these old prayer journals. And as I'm reading through them, I, find a prayer that I had prayed for my husband. It was when he was really struggling. He was in the middle of his applying for, for anesthesia school and he didn't get into a school and he was like really sad. Well, then he did get into the school and it was all fine, but he was really struggling in that moment. I just sat down and I prayed and prayed and prayed and I wrote it all down and I. That the day is that I was reminiscing over this, I shot him a picture. I was like, look at this. I prayed this for you like 12 years ago and here we are. You've been a CRNA for, I don't know, eight years now and we're doing good. We made it beautiful. Isn't that awesome? Then also like a few pages over, I find a prayer that I prayed for my best friend, Sarah, she had, had a miscarriage and they were really just desperately wanting that third baby. And so, I prayed for that, like just in desperation, pleading with God that he would give them that third baby. And now I'm like, okay, well, that baby is like nine years old now. Oh my goodness. So all that to say what I would go back and tell my younger self is to trust God, to trust him. Like everything. Um, everything in our lives all falls back to this one thing of just trusting God. I think about things like when I was in college, I was dating this guy and I thought, Oh, we're going to get married. Like he's my best friend. This is, we're going to go on and we broke up. And it ended and it was devastating. And I thought my life was not going to go on. But now I look back and I just want to shake my shoulders like my younger self by the shoulders and be like, Lily, just trust God, trust him. He's got this. You just have to trust in his plan. You have to trust in the story that he's writing for you. You have to trust in the story that he's writing for the world. And you have to trust in the story that he's writing for his kingdom. And so if you do that, if you can, Do that wherever you are in your life. And I'm, I still struggle with this today. But now looking back, I think, Oh my gosh, I just, all it was was just trusting God. That's all it was. Say that again. Trust him for your own story that he's writing. Trust God in the story that he's writing for your life. Trust God in the story that he's writing for our world and trust God in the story that he's writing for his kingdom. I love that. Cause it all makes sense. It all makes sense in the grand scheme of, I think that might be your book title. If you ever write a book. Oh, maybe I'm going to write a book one day. What do you think? I just, that's so good. I just believe that. And so all of that to say my favorite book, which I found in this box is a book by Brennan Manning, my all time favorite author. You too? Yeah. No way. Get out. We didn't even talk about this before. Okay. Oh. So, Brennan Manning. I wanted to name one of our kids Brennan. Which book is that? Did I read this book? Well, so this is Ruthless Trust. I don't know if I read that one. Ragamuffin Gospel. Yes. Is that your book that you love? And then Autobiography and then another. Yes. Okay. Yes. Well, so I love all of his books, but this one is like my most treasured. And I'm going to read you guys just the first page of this book because it just goes along with what we're saying. This book started writing itself with a remark from my spiritual director. Brennan, you don't need any more insights into the faith. He observed, you've got enough insights to last you 300 years. The most urgent need in your life is to trust what you have received. That sounded simple enough, but his remarks sparked a searing reexamination of my life, my ministry, and the authenticity of my relationship with God. A reexamination that's been the next two years. The challenge to actually trust God forced me to deconstruct what I had spent my life constructing to stop clutching what I was so afraid of losing to question my personal investment every word I'd ever written or spoken about Jesus Christ and Fearlessly to ask myself if I trusted him and I just think about that because if somebody That has walked with the Lord for a long time. I became a believer at the age of eight, but really I have always believed in God. But when I was eight, I really started walking with him and reading my Bible and spending time with him and just being in relationship with him. And so when I think about what Brennan says in this book, when he says that you've got enough insights to last you 300 years, the most urgent need in your life is to trust what you have received. I think about all those years. of my early teens, teens, twenties, just getting all the insights. Like I just, I love to read my Bible, read my Bible all the time. I would study all the time. I would pray all the time. I would just seek God and ask him and urgently just, Lord, what do you want out of my life? What are you trying to teach me in this moment? I mean, I just was hungry for him. And I think that a lot of times I don't need any more insights into what, who God is. I mean, yes, I do, but. Also, like I just need to trust him. Like I, at this point I know who he is. He's shown me his character and I know who he is and it's just a matter of just trusting him. I'm thinking of a quote years ago I wrote in the back of my Bible when one of our pastors was teaching when we were in Wyoming and he said, we are all, not all, that's hyperbole. Yeah. We are educated beyond our obedience. And I thought, Oh, it's almost what you're saying that the insight and the wisdom that Lord's provided through his word and his Holy spirit, other people around us, we all have a place to begin. We all know enough to begin and trust was crucial to accept him as your Lord and savior to begin with. So we all have a measure of it. We all have used it, that trust, And that we would trust him and the other things like you had said with your life. And what's happening in the world. We're not talking politics, but we're in election year. Yeah. we can trust him. He knows beginning to end. and with the kingdom, of course, we know that victory is one that his kingdom will come. so thank you. That's so good. And I didn't even know the same author. I know, And just also to add to that right now. and we're struggling with one of our kids and I keep the thing that keeps coming back to my mind and that the Lord keeps speaking to my heart over and over again is like, Lili, you, you really have learned how to trust me with your story. You have to trust me with his story, with my son's story, because what's happening right now is just, it's like, I'm tearful all the time. We're having all these discussions, me and my husband about what do we do? How do we handle this? And the Lord just keeps coming back to me and saying, you have to trust me with his story. You trust me with yours. Trust me with his story. I'm writing something. So trust God. That's the thing. I'll go back and tell my younger self. That's the thing. I'll go back to myself last week. That's the thing I've told myself today. Trust God. And I told people before too, that this is a chapter in Children's life. or maybe it's a chapter in our life, but it's not the end of the book, it's not the end of the story. And he can be trusted he writes each story beautifully. We can absolutely trust him in that. I have to remind myself of that. If it's a season or a chapter that's just yuck and it's hard and I not seeing my way through that it's, it's not the end of the book, Julie. Jesus is a great story writer and there are triumphant, always victorious endings. And so to think that too, for our kiddos that, and that helps me cause we have grown up kids. So there are times when I'm like, okay, Laura, it's just a chapter. We're not, you know, we're not, we're not the end. We're not at the end. We're not camping out here. I had another quote that I heard this week, and I wish I could remember it now. I can't remember exactly, but it was similar to that. what, what have we been given an instruction or known through his word and how are we using it? and it goes back to how are we trusting? Trusting him in it. So, Do you have any other one you wanted to share? I was hoping I was telling me, I hope I get through this list. I won't give you this whole list. Yours is so good. Julie's is so practical. Mine is like this, like team, like yours is trust. God, good luck, everybody. No, yours is so good. Listen, if you turn the podcast off right now, it's okay. Just write down what Lily said about, we can trust him with our story, trust him with the, it's. The world, the world and trust him with this kingdom, how those are going to work out. So I'm just going to give practical, I did these, you know, when we had mentioned we would do this as an episode, I called you or I text you, I can't remember. And then I started just listing in my phone cause life happens and I just thought I should get a few down. Yeah. Yeah. Well, now there's like a litany, I won't do all of them. No, you need to share these. You, you have a really good list here of things that you need to go back and tell everyone. Well, first off, I would say in case we, you know, I don't, I'm not able to get to all of them is, I would tell my younger self, Oh, let's back up. I think too, some of you listening may think, are you, Old enough to tell your younger self? Yes. We are. We won't tell you our ages, but we're plenty old. We are. And listen, if you're 20, I almost called one of my daughters and say, what would you tell your younger self? Cause even if you're mid twenties, You still have some, you know, like I said, I would go back and tell myself last week. Some of these things. Okay. Yeah. All that to say, I would tell my younger self just to believe that you're beautiful right now, believe that God made you beautiful. Like you and that, you're beautiful as you are. You know, I look back at pictures now when I was in my early thirties and I think, shoot, I was kind of cute, but there's a lot of self dislike. There was, I was very hard on myself. I was not very self conscious, not confident, internally, you know, telling myself stories of, I just wasn't, I don't know. I wasn't like everybody else. And that's linked to a lot of things now that I know, those links and how they happen. That's, I think abandonment issues from my dad and those kinds of things that if you're pretty, that equals worth and then people don't leave you. Yeah. And that sticks with you. Oh, for sure. Anyways, believe that you're beautiful now. Because trust me, you'll look back on pictures and go, Oh, hey, that's cute. I looked really good then. I should have just been thankful. Right? Okay. and then I, this one kind of goes with that one, but listen to God's opinion of you over anybody else's. I think our peace for sure and our confidence, if we have that in God's opinion of us, we talked about that in the spiritual identity one, last week, then our, our, our You know, our joy, our opinion of ourself that's not in flux because someone is always going to have a subjective opinion other than. The Lord's and the Lord is, immutable. He, he's, he doesn't change his mind, Who he says you are is who you are. So, listen to God's opinion of you. And then this goes along with yours. I said, don't fret. God has a plan for the thing that concerns you. Beth more long time ago. One of her teachings had said, it's not like you're going to surprise him. Like, Oh man, I didn't see that one coming. Like, I'm not sure what we're going to do off guard. Yeah. She used to say he's got the file on it. Like. try not to, to worry. Like you said, trust don't fret those things. nothing's like too big for him. That was one thing my mom used to say is there's nothing big enough, that he's not in control over that he doesn't have a plan for, there's just nothing, you know, not even, you know, you know, the end of the world, I mean, that's a big thing, but we know the Victor in that. So anyways, trust him. And then this one's definitely practical. Spend lots of time with your parents. I know there's dynamics in relationships, but sure. I would say in that regard. As much as it depends on you try and reconcile if that's what's happening, but, spend lots of time with your parents. You'll, you'll wish that, when they pass and being a parent of adult children, I'm going to tell you sometimes your parents don't ask. To spend time with you. they want to, they just, they may not make the ask. They might not invite you to dinner. They might just want you to pop over, you know, or take them, make the effort. Yeah. it's always valuable to spend that time while you can, you know, then I have try for the dream. Don't just dream about it. And in our Bible study in 2022 or 2020, was it 2023? I don't know. One of those years. This is 2024. So 2023. Y'all know I'm not good at years and numbers. I don't even remember what year I was married. Just a little side note. Ask my husband. He knows. As long as Eric knows how long. It's fine. It's anniversary time. Anyways, our, that year, 2023 in our Bible study neighborhood, we picked a word for the year and we gave ourselves a little time to think about that. And so my word for 2023 was try. And it was important because it wasn't perfection. It wasn't success. It was just try because I can, I can plan the life out of something. You know, I could just paralyze the situation because I think I should know all the answers on the front end of whatever could happen or which backup you should let everybody know you are an Enneagram one. So like you do live in that perfectionistic world. So when you came to us, As your Bible study people and said, my word for the year is try. We were just also proud of you because for making that step, you're going to try, but because you want to have it all in a row. And so I know a lot of people listening might. I feel like that. Like, I can't go after that because I just need to have all the ducks in the row first. And what you're saying is just go for it. Don't worry about everything else, right? You might fail. Yeah. You might succeed. But yes, and you're going to learn along the way. I don't know why I feel like I, maybe it's that the Enneagram one, we can, We'll unpack that another time because there's, you know, other numbers, but, just feeling like I'm, I need to do it right or don't do it and, and failure doesn't feel right. So anyways, try it. And a lot of things you learn along the way, like, I tried to make sourdough bread. Okay. It was a disaster. I'm terrible at it. I tried multiple times, but you know what? I gave it a whirl. There's maybe two loaves that turned out, but so if anybody's a great sourdough person, let me, let me know. Let me know. Cause I need some starter. I want to try it. I want to try it. I want to try it. I applied for a job or two. Didn't get them, which is okay. Cause that's, wasn't what God's plan was. I tried to write a devotional for my grownup children. You did. And I did it. Yeah. You did it. Praise the Lord for that flourish. And, and largely that's why we're doing the podcast because I I've really listeners. I knew nothing. I don't know any tech, but you are our technical advisor. So anyways, yeah, try it. Don't just dream about it. Life is really long. I know, you know, it's, I don't even know what the word is. It cliche to say it's short. Is that the word cliche? Anyways, that life is short and it is, but it is long. Like when my grownup kids are talking about something that could take a couple of years to achieve. I'm like, Oh honey, you have so many years past that. Just do it. Try it. So, okay. So, and then, to be unapologetic of who God made you to be. I spent a lot of years trying to fit a mold. That people and I thought I should be based on my, talents or abilities or giftings. Cause I thought that's where people wanted me and I wanted to make people happy. And so that's what I did. rather than moving in what God had created and called me to, And so use your talents, use your ability. Don't let other people's. Opinions hold you back move in that confidence of how the Lord made you. I like that. Let's see. What else do I have here? Oh, clean your house later. I'm not good at this one. I'm not. I like a clean house. I can't help it. I like, I'm a one, I like clean house too, but there's many times when I think, man, Lance was like the player. My husband, he would play in rough house and I know what you meant when you said that Lance is the player. Okay. He's not. It's true. He's a wonderful Christian man, but he was like the ball player and the, you know, drag you around, throw you, you know, and I was like, make the dinner, clean the stuff up, do the laundry. I was the nurturer one, but I wish I had spent more time just to like look in their little eyeballs, you know, and play more and, all that stuff's still going to be cleaned up later. I just wish I would have relaxed a little more. I know. In that. That's really hard for me to do. So, okay. I think that might be my list. That's a really good list. I ripped through them pretty quickly. And they're really practical and I think that. You know, if you guys that are listening, you're going to listen to that and hopefully be able to take away like some nuggets from that because hers were very just good and like precise. Well, I like how the Lord drew you deep and gave me some, me some practical ones. So, you know, y'all, we, we got, we got both done. We got you covered. We got you covered. Yeah. And boys, I don't know if there's probably, I almost asked Lance, like, give me one. What would you tell your, but I, I didn't get around to it. So that would be a fun one. For episode. All right. Well, we'll see. We'll see about upcoming episodes. Speaking of which, yes. So we are going to be taking a break in between season one and season two, and we're going to catch you guys with a new season on November the 7th. Yes. And it will launch us into the holiday season. And we're really excited about that. We're planning, we're talking, scheming, all the things. Yes. Holidays. and if you have any ideas. Shoot them our way. I usually have the email in our show notes or email. So perfect. Or on socials. Yeah. Let us know. And we have some people to thank. So thank our people. We do have people to thank for making my Tennessee table podcast even happen. So one, thank you God. God. Really? Thank you God. It's a miracle. Jesus. Thank you. Thank you. Sincerely. And our husbands who have been so great and supportive And just kind to us and encouraging. So yay husbands. And then Beth and Josh Davis, who she was the technical support on the front end and they, blessed me with a computer anyways, they were in big and Kurt she's in our Bible study too. And then Bob Williams, our tech, who I said is on call, even though he never agreed to be our, I love you, Bob. I almost called it tonight. Cause I was like, Oh no, but is he home? But anyways. Yeah. and then I want to thank Laura Beth, Laura, Beth and Laney, they host their sisters and they host a podcast called steel magnolias, which is awesome. When I first moved here to the Franklin area and I wanted to know everything about the South, I just binged it while I painted rooms upstairs. I just ripped through episode after episode and she was so kind. She met with me multiple times. Just encouragement. Let me bounce questions off her. Just a real cheerleader. So, Laura Beth, awesome. And listen to Steel Magnolias, y'all. It, now it's more of a destination, like travel. They're traveling and then giving you the goods on where to go and what's there culturally and food. It's great. So, Steel Magnolias, that's a good one. And then listeners, thanks so much. Yeah. Thanks guys. Yeah, just coming along with us. I, I wish we could have you all at our table and sit down and just visit and be buddies, but we feel that way. So thanks for making it happen. We're just really blessed by that. Yeah. So thankful. So, so thankful. So, as we close, know that we're gonna be back. With y'all on November 7th, it's been such a fun adventure through season one, and we're so excited and looking forward to what God's going to do and bring for season two. So know that we're going to be saving you a seat at our Tennessee table until then blessings. So we're back together.