Help with the Holiday Hurry

Are you beginning to feel the stress of the holiday season pressing in? The stores are decorated, the Christmas sales are out, and party invites are arriving? Whew! And it's only the middle of November! On today's episode of My Tennessee Table, Lele and Juli chat about the holiday hurry that comes at us from all directions and how we can manage the hurry so it doesn't overtake our holiday. So grab your coffee cup and pick a seat at the Table for Help with the Holiday Hurry. 

Transcript

juli-_1_11-11-2024_111743: 0:03

Welcome back to my Tennessee table. This is season two, episode two. And we are so excited to be with you as we talk about the holiday season and all things that are just happening now in our lives this today. Is Julie Banks's birthday. So celebration, cannons, confetti, all the things. We're so grateful for Julie and we're excited to celebrate you. So if you see Julie this week, you make sure and give her a special birthday hug and shout out. Cause you, we're grateful for you and we love you and everybody who knows you loves you. So we're so. Just excited. To celebrate you. That's very sweet of you. What are you doing to celebrate your birthday? Okay. What are we doing to celebrate my birthday? I told Lily when she got here, I said, have you ever had cupcakes from the cupcake collection? Yes, I have never. Well, I had them last week. Yes. And it changed my life. They're so good. They are so good. They're so good. I know. So if you are in the Nashville area, actually. I think they have one like in New Orleans. Oh, really? And they have three in Nashville. Anyways, they're so good. The best. Yeah. So I'm ordering myself some. Yeah, you are. Sometimes you just got to do what you want. And Lance is going to pick them up for me. So I'm doing that and then made reservations. Hold on. And a restaurant, which is going to be great. it'll be, we haven't been to this one, so it'll be so special date night. It'll be special date night. Yeah. Downtown, which will be good. So looking forward to that and, just grateful, to be able to spend time with. Your people. Yeah. For the birthday song. I'm looking forward to it. So, yay. Yummo. I love birthdays. I love celebrations. My mom, birthdays were huge. In our family. Like, Christmas is a thing. I mean, a big thing, of course, is Christ's birth. And we would celebrate that. But birthdays, my mom just made so special and definitely just about you and you. You know, I stretched them out for the week, you go to lunch with girlfriends birthday week. This is your birthday week. Yes. And you go to dinner with friends or you, go do tea with people. You just stretch it on out. So, I'm, I'm not always comfortable. I'm more comfortable celebrating other people. So, but I'm going to settle in. I'm gonna do my best this week. So I love it. We love you. Thank you for the happy birthdays. Thank you. Yeah, it's your birthday. Well, in other news. Julie, I did it. I put my Christmas tree up. Yes. I want to talk about this. I know. It's beautiful. I know. It's only, it's like what the first, we're not even into the second week of November and I have put My Christmas tree. How do you feel about it? I love it. Good. Well, I'm glad you did it. I know. It makes my house, I think my house looks its best at Christmas. Does anybody else feel that way? Yes, I agree. Yeah. Mine too. It just like fills it up. And then you have the twinkle lights. And all the things. And Emmy helped me decorate the tree a little bit. And then Lainey helped. There's still lots to be done. Tell about Emmy. Tell about Emmy. Oh, well. She decorated your tree. She did. But just in one spot. That's awesome. She's a tiny person. She is a tiny person. So this one spot on my tree that got decorated for a little while. And then she's like, OK, Mommy, um, I think I need your help. I was like, you got it, girl. So then we moved some ornaments a little up higher and a little down lower. Yes. Do you have ornaments that they made? Like, you know, like at preschool or church? Bibles, what am I trying to say, Sunday school, do you have some of those keepsakes? Okay, so here's my honest truth. Okay. Okay. So the tree that's downstairs in my den is really pretty and I put the pretty ornaments on it and when we travel anywhere I buy an ornament that matches that tree so I have like kind of our travel log on our tree which is really fun but it's mostly like gold and white and I just love that. Okay, so I don't put the kids ornaments on it. That's okay. I just, I, I'm like, no, this isn't a pretty tree. So then I have another tree that's full of ornaments that my kids have made. It's also full of ornaments that I made that my mom, she, my mom, she still does this will show up at my house with just a box and she'll be like, Oh, this is for you here. And it'll just have, I don't know, hodgepodge of things in it that she would just want to get out of her house. And so, over the years I've found just random ornaments that, I had made as a child or have my picture school picture in it. Or whatever. And so those have ended up on a different tree. So I ended up with like, well, I don't even know, three trees, four trees. Who knows? Laney has a tree upstairs. It's adorable. And that's like her tree and it's white and bright and colorful and all the things. That one's not up yet, but yeah, we just. I just kind of go for it. I like the prettiness and then, but I like the sentimentalness of the old, you know, ornaments and the ones that kids make. So I have a tree specifically for that. Well, you still have them. And this is what moms do. We do bring you stuff. We're like, and I cleaned the closet or your mom's sitting up for Christmas. She's like, Oh, I'll take this. Well, my grandkids, I buy them an ornament. And I have bought them an ornament every year. Um, and typically they were all the same for a while. Yeah. And now I've kind of changed them up. Maybe in the same kind of ornament family. Uh huh. And then I put the date on them. And then the kids have them. So that when they move out. They'll have a box of ornaments. My children. Yes. can do exactly what your mom did. Give them their ornaments. Here you go. Oh my God. We're going to get there. Our, one of our children is, going to visit for Thanksgiving. So I thought, Oh, I saw your tree. I thought, Ooh, maybe I'll do mine. But then faith, our daughter's coming for Thanksgiving. I thought, well, maybe she'll want to help me. Maybe not, but maybe she will. Faith. What do you think? The day She'll be guilted into it to help me. I turn Christmas music on. I put my little potpourri in the pot. I make my own cinnamon stick, lemon, you know, rosemary from the yard anyways. So maybe she'll help me, but I'm glad your tree's up. It does make your heart feel light. Doesn't it? And I did listen to The Holly, is that the Sirius S M F F, whatever they switch over to Christmas as soon as it's November 1st. Yeah. Yes. And I did listen to it the other day. I can't help it. I love it. Okay. Well, so I know we, we've, we've just dove right into the holidays. We, we did it. We kind of have skipped over Thanksgiving, even though we talked about that last week, but we're not gonna, we're not gonna, we're going to circle back. Yes. So speaking of Eucharist, though, what are you thankful for? I'm thankful for another year. I had a lot of things this morning. I was thinking, what am I, which thank the Lord. There's a lot of things to be thankful for. but I'm thankful for another year. Not, not everyone gets that. It's a blessing. You know, another, You're with family and with friends and to make memories and see God's beautiful creation Yeah, I love that for know. What about you? You know what? I'm thankful for I got a text message this week podcast and it was just Full of like so much kindness and encouragement. And I just am thankful for the people that see the good and they say something. Yes. You know what I mean? They, they see, it could be something silly. Like, I really love your purple shirt. You look so pretty today that just, if you see something good and you say something that will just light up somebody's life and they will just feel. Better for the day. So I'm just grateful for the encouragers out there. So just reminder to myself, to all of us that when we see good things, like say, say it, say it, speak it. So yeah, that's what I'm thankful for right now. You did send me that text. I got to see it. So thank you. I know. Just made my heart feel good. So anyway, thanks everybody. We love y'all. Yes. Yes. Yes. So as we enter the holiday season, And we're talking about trees and food and people. There's a lot that, I don't know, I want to say if it's pressure, but, it's a good word pressure. Yeah. I don't know. and maybe the hurry of it all. Yeah. It just feels like a rush, right? It feels like a total rush. You were telling me about your calendar. Oh, Uh huh. Tell me. Yeah, last week that was when we were talking about doing this this week and it would, it, what are we? Are we 10 days? I don't even know what's today. I don't know. We're like a week in or something like that. Yeah. Barely. And I had someone text me about something. I was like, Oh yeah, let me check my calendar. And I couldn't believe it. I know. November and December. Already, you know, the very beginning of November, the calendar was filling up. I know. I thought, what on earth is happening? And really unbeknownst to me, no one manages my calendar. Right. But me. Yes. So. I know. It's on me. But shocking how fast. It's filling up. Isn't it crazy? And what about you? I mean, you have work. Yeah. Yeah. You have family. You have activities. Yeah. It's crazy. The holiday season, it does. It kind of just gets away from you before you even know it. You, you start to say, yeah, yeah, let's do that. Yeah. Let's get together. Yes. Let's do this. Yes. Let's go to this family function. Yes. We will go to this kid's play and yes, we will do that. And the next thing you know, you just look it down at your calendar and you think, oh boy, we're full. It's all full. And. And like you said, I have nobody to blame for that, but myself, so it's just like learning to say no to things, even good things sometimes to like, just slow the pace down a little bit. It's probably good, but it's hard because I want to be at all of those things. I will have serious FOMO if I'm not at all of the things. So I, um, It's, it's me. It's a me problem. How do we slow it down? How do we, I don't know. I'm thinking it is a me problem, but I'm also thinking, of course, this would be on me to, social media. Like, I don't spend a ton of time, but I'm on there. I mean, I look, and, um, This just letting me know what I should be doing or what I might be missing. Yeah. Or at least in trying to inform me Yeah. On those things. and we had talked before we started that there's like a little, I feel like a little, I have a, a little stress button. Mm-Hmm. you know, or a little anxious button. Yeah. And what pushes your stress button. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And watching those things like, oh, the Christmas ads are out and I might miss the. air fryer. Yeah. If I don't fail, it's 20 off Julie. I don't know. You know, or add to cart. Add to cart. so I think that adds some pressure Mm-Hmm. I think the decorations going up. I mean, golly, again, we're not to Thanksgiving. Mm-Hmm. and Christmas is out. I was in stores yesterday. Oh yeah. I went to six stores yesterday. Y'all. This was not for Christmas. Lance reminded me when I got home, he's like, you went to six stores? I go, no, I didn't. He goes, yes, you did. Wow. But anyways, in those six stores, Christmases happened. Oh yeah. In Nashville. It's just exploded. It's here. So from decorations and sales. And invites to party, which I'm so thankful. Thank you. Who's if you've invited me to a party, I'm very thankful. I am not complaining. I want to be at it. Absolutely. I want to be at every single party. Yes, I do. but for me, it's just unmanaged expectations for myself too. And that's self imposed. I think, I love people and I like to be around people. And because I really like people, I like when people are happy. And so I think I feel like I want to do all those things because it makes me happy and makes other people happy. but sometimes I. I do what I want rather than probably what I need to do because my default is not to rest. I have to like make a conscious choice to say, time out, Julie, sit down, sit down. You can sit this one out. And I don't, you know, I have a little tinge of feeling like maybe I would disappoint people. That's not my largest reason. I think it's just, I want to be there. I want to be able to do all those things, but, I need to rest too. And I need to make that decision to do it. I don't always do that. Well, yeah. Well, I was telling Julie, I, I watched the today show. I just, it's kind of like, I don't know, one of those things I just kind of always have on and I was watching it, and I was like, oh my gosh. We're they're on, they're on to gift guides and they're on, they've got, they've got, they're decorated for Christmas and like, why, why is this? Like, why does the world, particularly the Western culture, just all of a sudden focus so heavily on Christmas and so early, and then I know there's like a lot of like worldly things that are happening, like just the financial benefit of it, the consumerism part of it. But if you're looking at the world that doesn't. And they're not focused on Jesus during the season, and it's just, it's all that's around us. Then we, as Christ followers, we just get sucked right in there. Like, we're just like, okay, here we are. And so before we even can center ourselves on Jesus, we've, Centered ourselves on the world and on buying gifts and making sure that my teenager gets the the right sweatshirt that's cute and in right now and the my son gets the cool sneakers and then my daughter gets the coolest toys and You know The list goes on and on and on and it's like all of a sudden it I've just put the focus on Christmas on us on my kids on what they want and I Not on Jesus and you end up just exhausted and disappointed and it just feels rushed and hurried. And then the next thing, you know, the joy and the real meaning of real meaning of Christmas is just gone without you even realizing it. And we're Christ followers. Like we should be in that place. And, and it is. Worldwide. Christmas. Okay. Worldwide as believers, we get this opportunity while not everyone in the world acknowledges it as Christ's birthday. Right. It's still out there. Yeah. I mean, people know of it. It's not as though they're like, I've never heard of that before. Yes. They know. And so we have this open road, This open, opportunity. To display in our life Christ, an opportunity to talk about him and tell other people about him, or at least in our actions or our generosity and we can shift because we're informed by other things, or we're not managing our own headspace, I think, as far as, or our time. and we miss that. We miss that. Just perfect opportunity where people may be more open to hearing about the Lord. in little ways and maybe big ways, you know, we invite people to our homes during these this time of year Maybe people we don't usually have over and we just have such a great chance just to exhibit the love of Jesus and yeah, absolutely. I'm sucked into, I don't know what. Yeah. We're sucked into just the hurriedness and the rush of it all. one of my favorite authors is and pastors, is John Mark Comer, and he wrote a book, the Ruthless Elimination of Hurries several years ago. I mean, I'm sure most of you guys have read it, but I pulled this quote from it because I thought it was really good for where we're at right now. But it says, if there is a secret to happiness, it's simple presence to the moment, the more present we are to the now, the more joy we tap into. And so it just made me stop and think like part of my problem is I'm not present in the moment. I'm had. Our family over for dinner a few weeks ago, and I don't know, the kids were making a mess, and I was sitting around the table with my mom and my brother, my sister in law, my husband, and the kids were, like I said, making a mess. And my initial thought was to jump up and go clean up the mess. And I just had to stop myself and be like, Lili, be present in this moment. Your mom is sitting here. judge, her husband was sitting there, my brother, my sister, like, Just be here, be with them. Don't worry about the mess that they're making. Like that could get cleaned up later. Like focus on the joy of this moment, sitting around this table with people that you love and you're getting to visit with them and all of that. So I just think if you can shift your focus and really be present in the moment, it might help us. and I also think You know, when it's so easy to get sucked into what the world is telling us, we need to figure out how we can recenter our lives, our hearts and our spirits on Jesus. And so some of the practical things I was thinking about are, I think we talked about this last week, but the last thing that we see or look at before we go to bed and the first thing we see in the morning dramatically affects our day. Yes. So I'm glad you're sharing that again. If we can. The last thing we do, read our Bible, pray, just take some deep, like cleansing breaths that just where you say Jesus. And then you breathe out like just those basic little things. If you do that at night and in the morning, then that would totally change your mindset for that day. And hopefully. You will be just naturally more centered on Jesus. We talked about Psalms 92, one and two. I think that was the verse last week. If y'all didn't hear that, and if you did hear it, we'll say it again. But yeah, talked about, just recounting his loving kindness in the morning and faithfulness at night. And you can do that in the bed. Yeah. You don't have to go to a special place. No. but that's that quiet kind of unwinding time to be able to do that. The other thing that I find myself doing at night after I've put my kids to bed is scrolling on my phone. So this is just, this one is for me. guys. And I don't know, please tell me that you might do this too, but I will sit and I will scroll. It's like that. I'm just like checked out. Like kids are in bed. So I'm just like, Oh, you're not, you're not ignoring them because they're in bed. Yeah. I just need a moment to unwind. And so just to go like, let my mind just kind of like take a break. And so I will just scroll Instagram stories. And before I know it, it's been like an hour and I've scrolled through Instagram and not only have I wasted an hour of my life scrolling through Instagram, I've clicked on a million links. I've like bought stuff before I've realized that I've spent 300 on things that I don't need, that my kids don't need, that my mom doesn't like. I just, it's like, Oh, that might be a good present. Boop. And I just, the next thing I know it's in my cart and I bought it and that is not okay. And so one thing I'm really going to try to do is. Put my phone away at 8 p. m. Okay, in a different room. Yes, put it away. I used to do this I had a really good habit of doing it. I would put it away from 8 p. m. Until 8 a. m. And I'm just For whatever reason have fallen back into the habit of just having it with me more than I want to and so I'm like nope For the holiday season because I really want to make sure that I doing everything in my own power to center my life on Jesus I'm gonna put my phone away. You told me this when you came over today and I go. Oh my gosh That's exactly what I did last night, too. We were doing the same thing. I ordered things Last night from the bed. Eleven fifteen. Yeah. and I'm ordering things and I thought, Oh, I might forget or they might be gone or it might get there too late. I did the same thing. Like put, put my phone away, put it away. So if you text me after eight PM and I don't respond, you know why. Totally do. And we're not saying that being on your phone and scrolling is in, looking for presents is bad. No, no, no. We're just saying be a boss of your time, be a boss of your own time. I think the holiday season, because we have so much coming at us, some of it not intending to be, ugly or mean or harmful, like friends inviting you to things, or concerts, or whatever. for me, I just have to tell myself, be the boss of your own time. Don't let the world and the ads and the Christmas concerts, even church services manage your time for you. That's good. What are some practical ways that you can. Well, a number one, like you had, I just said, just keep your, your quiet time with the Lord. You know, I know that sometimes Your schedule gets a little altered. So sometimes you're like, Oh, I'll do it later. And then it, sometimes it doesn't happen. You know, that's our life. That's our lifeblood. That's our souls food. We just spend our time with him. oftentimes I'll do my prayer time in the morning. I'll get up and do like my Bible reading and oftentimes I'm in a small group study. So I do a small group study, but while I'm laying there half awake, half asleep, and before my feet hit the floor, I, I pray. a lot of times with Thanksgiving or for our kids, or if people have asked me to pray about something specific, I will. Because the days, hurries and worries haven't rushed into my brain yet don't neglect your time with the Lord, especially when this season when we're celebrating him as our gift. I know. So that's one. another one is take the Sabbath once a week. If you're not already doing it and listen, I don't do it every week. So this is to me to, take the rest that the Lord asks us to do and all the pies are going to get If they don't, it's okay, you know, and the presence will make it, or you'll get a gift card and you won't buy the present, like it, things will get done. and interestingly enough, how the Lord provides time back when we offer our time to him. I used to think that when I worked in the school district and had, my office and teachers would come in and, and I would think, I have so much to do. but it was a need, or it was a friend that was coming to, had to talk about something. And I felt like the Lord was like, listen, if you offer this time to me, I promise I will give it back to you. Just be present with the person, be present in the moment. I will give it back. And so take the Sabbath, take some rest with your people. that's a good reminder. We used to, we used to practice Sabbath when I was working at the church. We would take it from Friday afternoon. I would actually spend most of Friday cleaning the house and then Friday afternoon when the kids get off the bus, I would light a candle and that would begin Sabbath and we would continue it for 24 hours and we would just spend time together as a family. This was before my kids were doing a million different things. Saturdays. Yes. Yeah. Or plays or yes. And now I feel like our life has just shifted and it's like, we have to find space for this somehow. And I have been thinking. And so I'm glad you brought this up that I really do want to bring that back into our lives in some form, even if it's like from Friday afternoon, when they got off the bus, just till Saturday morning, we're in the first soccer game starts. I don't know, just idea. And the visual of lighting the candle is really helpful for me. That's a great idea. I'm glad you said that. another one that I, I do now, apparently I didn't do it well enough last week when my schedule was getting full, but, take a visual assessment of your calendar. I have it in my phone, but I also have a paper one in case I lose my phone and then my, I have no idea what I'm doing in life cause I didn't write my calendar down, and look ahead for the week for what your week looks like. Take an assessment of where you, you know, how full is it? What time do you really have? And then I also put the word free, all caps, uncertain days in my calendar. So if I see my week is really getting crammed full of stuff, I'll pick the day. I'm like, okay, this one's free. I can't say sometimes I'm not plugging something in there. If it's emergency, whatever, whatever. But in my brain, it helps me to know. So this week I have a day that's free next week. I have two that are free and I'm so happy. I'm like, look it, I'll be midway to November by next week. Next week, almost to the end. Yeah. And I'll have some days free in the week. So that's good. and then give yourself permission to do a daily time out or solitude. Solitude, is one of the spiritual disciplines. And I have a girlfriend who, I mean, her kids are manageable. They're safe in the home. You know, they're, they're. Playing or, doing homework and she would take solitude in her car in the garage. I love that. That is like such a mom thing. She'd be like, kids, I need this much time. I'm going to be alone. And she would just go sit in the car. Yeah. So take some solitude for yourself. I'm not saying necessarily from your kids, but I'm seeing from this pressure to get all the things done and be all the things and do all the things this holiday season. I think a good thought now that's just, our idea coming to my brain is what's my goal for a holiday season is my holiday season for this one to be low stress. And so every decision I make is going to be based on that through that filter, or is it to spend time meaningful time with my family than any other decision I make is going to come through that filter. perhaps it's spending time with friends. I don't know whatever it is, but if we, I think if we have something we're shooting for, then the world doesn't get to suck our attention every other place. If we have a target, that's good. I like that, that we're aiming to figure out your goal and then making every decision. Through that filter. I mean, we do that at work. We do that with other things that we do. just know what our target is this season. You know, obviously it's Jesus. We're doing these things to clear the hurry in our life so that we can focus on Christ's birth and the gift. So let's see what other things. Oh, just say no to things. I had totally lead to the calendar filling up and then I realized I'm like, Julie, you have agency and power. Just say no. And it was a fun thing. It was going to be super fun with some girlfriends. We're going to go up in the city and then it was a, it's a taping for a Bible study, which is always fun. I've got to sit in one of those. That's just a great experience. And I, I just was not able to do it and I had to fight like feeling like I was going to miss it or feeling bad about it and I can say no, but I can also say no to myself because I want to have like. You know, like the food truck block party Christmas, like the tree out front, you know, and I'm a band and you know, I have all these ideas and yeah, and cookie exchanges and I want to go to the concert that the Ryman and I want it and I want to go to hear it. I just have to say no to myself. Yeah, that's hard. It's disciplining myself really. Mostly. And then physical activity. Don't let that go. Whatever you do that calms you, if it's reading, if it's exercising, if it's doing a puzzle, it's talking to friends, whatever it is. Yeah. Hold on to that this season too. That'll. Help your heart and mind. So definitely. Well, what about some scriptures? Do you have some gravitate towards? Yes, I have one that I thought of it's from Romans. it's Romans 12 too. And it says, do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind by testing that you may discern what is good and acceptable and perfect. And I just, as I think about just the. Impact that the world can have on me, especially in this season with all of the stuff that they're just throwing in my face constantly. Like you need this. Your people need that. Your kid needs this great toy. These are the hottest items. Yeah. You're going to miss out. You need to go to the show. Amy Grant, Vince Gill at the Ryman. Go, go see that. Like don't, don't be conformed. To this world. And lately I feel like I've taken these little pieces of verses that, are just helpful for me in my everyday life. And just put those couple words just in my brain. Do not be conformed to this world. Do not be conformed to this world lely. And when I'm like walking through a decision, should I do this? Should I do not be to this world? How does that fit into that lely? And then I. Kind of make my decision based on that. But I think those are the words that are going to probably just sit with me. Don't be conformed to this world. That's great. That's a perfect scripture. What about you for this time? Well, I did Isaiah 26, three, you keep him in perfect peace. Whose mind is stayed on you because he trusts in you. So to keep my mind stayed on him, kind of like you're saying, do not conform to this world. Keep your mind stayed on him, Julie. I, I mean, I just, I, there's been times that I, I just picture walking behind him, like my place is to follow. My place isn't to drag you behind me wherever I want to go on Jesus. Come on. so just to keep my mind stayed on him this day behind him, let him lead. Remember that he is, our gift and our joy, our reason for this season. So, like you said, we could go on and on and on on the topic and I'm sure there's, Other wonderful practical ideas that people have implemented maybe for years in their lives during the season to kind of push back the hurry or help with the holiday hurry in their life. so whatever you are doing, we just want to encourage you do that. and whatever, maybe you do as a family, like you had said, like the candle for the Sabbath, do those things to start. Don't forsake those things or neglect them because the outside noise is so loud of what we should be doing. Well, y'all, we're so thankful that you joined us at the table today. Lili and I just picture you at my kitchen table with us and that makes us so happy. if y'all would invite a friend to my Tennessee table for some friendship and some joy, that would make the table even bigger in the best way. We'd love that. So Until next time, blessings to you all.