Spiritual Formation: Confession

Welcome back! We said last week how excited we are for Season Three of My Tennessee Table and especially the topic. Season Three is all about Spiritual Formation. I know, it can sound intimating or scary, but really its not. Promise! Spiritual Formation are simply practices that help us draw closer to God and grow as a Christ-follower. We'll experience freedom and be empowered by doing them. Those are all good things! Right?
In the upcoming episodes, we'll show you what some of the Spiritual Formation practices are and how to do them. We think if you give them a try you will see the benefits. So pull up a chair, grab your favorite cup cozy, and meet us at the Table! We're so glad you're here!


Mel Robbins podcast: "How to Make it the Next Year the Best Year: Ask yourself these 7 questions"
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/.podcasts/the-mel-robbins-podcast/id1646101002?i=1000681150190

Transcript

juli-_1_01-19-2025_162304: 0:10

Welcome back y'all. I hope you had such a great week. It's been a week of kind of rest and taking it slow for me, kind of healing up and getting back into the routine after the long holidays. So, but a good week. What about you lately? How has it been? Hey, it's been a good week. It's, I've been trying to think, what did I do this last week? Does any other? Moms out there feel like that, where you're like, I don't even know what we did. Like, has it been a week? Like where am I? Yes. It Tuesday. I didn't know today. I don't even know what, what is today? Yes. It's been a good week. I think, Eric's birthday's coming up. So I've been kind of like in the middle of. planning, just nothing big, but just, you know, as I say, don't tell the plans. Yeah. Make sure I have his like stuff that I make for his breakfast and then we have a reservation to go eat for dinner and just that kind of stuff. And the kids love to celebrate him too. So just making sure we kind of have things to make him feel loved and special on his day. And then, I don't know, the kids are back in school and that feels good, you know, but then a snow day will happen. So I don't know. It's like, I don't count on it at all. Well, you had a sick one this week too. I did, yeah. So, before Christmas, Emmy, me, and Lainey, we all had RSV, or some form of that, and I was like, okay, we're through this. And then, just the other day, this is like weeks later, Cade had a fever, and I was like, oh, it's the flu. It's gotta be the flu. Well, that's going around too. It is going around. It's hard now. And I never take my kids to the doctor, just a little tidbit about me. I just kind of wait it out. I'm like, Ooh, it'll be fine and we just kind of go with it for a couple of days. Well, because we'd already had RSV, I was like, well, that's not what it is. Cause he would have RSV. We all right. And he was fine. This has got to be the flu. Let's go to the doctor. Let's get that Tamiflu go in or whatever. So we went to the doctor and of course sat there for like an hour and a half waiting for a flu test to come back negative. And then just to tell me only just has RSV. I'm like, Oh, well, that's dumb. Not really. This is why I don't go to the doctor. This is why I don't go to the doctor. I'm like, next time my kids are going to be like, you know, super high fever. I'm like, yeah, you're fine. You're fine. Don't worry about it. I seem to do that. It used to be, I couldn't gauge it. Yeah. If they were truly sick. Yeah. I wouldn't go for the longest time. And then like that. You go. I think they're sick. I run them in there. And then they're like, Okay, come back later or pay us again. It's nothing just get him some cough drops. So you're like, are you kidding me? I know I just can't seem to all the moms out there. Just we're just doing our best We are especially in cold and flu season. It's like we don't know what's going on That's what like, do you have strep throat? Do you have the flu? Do you have RSV? Is it just a cough? Is it just a random virus? I don't know. So we're just, yeah, we're all hanging in there and everybody else is feeling fine. And he's on the upswing. Oh yeah. He's feeling better. Yeah. I mean, he's playing Xbox and he played basketball. He did. He won his basketball game. I mean, it's fine. We're fine. Oh, good. Yes. Emmy. Emmy's playing basketball. We talked about this. Oh my gosh. Emmy is playing basketball. I think I saw this on social. Oh my gosh. Which this brings me such delight. So she's on this basketball team y'all and it's co ed, which is fine. Boys and girls playing together and they're five and six year olds or whatever. But Emmy doesn't. Know how to play basketball like this is literally any of them know what they're doing I don't know. There's like a couple of them on our team that they pretty good Oh, they come in with their nike, you know, like, uh headbands on and I mean, they're like ready and they're making I swear, it's like they're making three pointers. They're not but they're like They're making shots. Well, Emmy doesn't know offense from defense, so she gets out there. Literally what her coach has been like, has told her is, okay, this is your person and you just guard them. Good. So she got her hands in the air and she kind of just like dances around like a little fairy. Like she's like kind of around her person, but it's like, she does that on defense, but then they run to offense where she should be like, On the offense, like somebody passed me the ball. I should get the rebound. I should try to shoot instead. She's still guarding her like on her little tippy toes, like, and then in true Emmy fashion, she'll look up at me like in the stand and just give me a thumbs up. Like, Am I doing it? And I'm like, yeah, kinda like we're all just like, whatever. It's fun. You know, they're at this point in their lives, they're not trying to go pro. They're just getting energy out, you know, just trying to find ways to just get them around other people and just having fun and doing stuff. So anyway, it's, it's fun and funny to watch. And then Kate, on the other hand, is my giant man child. Yes, he is. I don't know if I've told the listeners this, but he's so tall that his friends call him uncle Cade. Oh, he's so much taller than that. He is a big, a big child. Yes. So he showed up at his first basketball game. Game practice or whatever. And I think his coach is like, Oh, all right, you're tall. That's good So he got to do the jump ball at the beginning of the game. I was like, oh, yeah Jake got the ball for his team and of course he did they were off So basketball isn't his sport necessarily, but he's taught and we're just like dude just get your hands up in the air Yeah, that's all you have to do and you'll be fine. You're three feet taller with your hands. However long I don't know. What's the wingspan? I don't know. A lot. A lot. These other fighters. So anyway, we're cruising through basketball season and sickness season and all that stuff. And we're just, I'm just being a little busy mom. I hate that word busy, but you know, it's the truth. It's what it is in the season of life. Just a little Uber driver over here. You are. Yeah. What about you? How's your week? And spring's coming. I was like, we're like two months from spring, Julie. That sounds like a lot. I'm a gardener. So I'm like, I can't wait. I got two months until I got little baby sprouts. I thought you're going to be like two weeks. Oh, it's two months. I thought that seemed pretty quick. Okay. Well, I took my walk today, which girl, it was not spring today. No, I wore my running pants and I put jeans over it. I put my wool socks on, put my tissues on, put a t shirt, a sweatshirt, my coat, a hat. What else did I have? Gloves, sunglasses, because I thought it's kind of breezy and it might freeze my eyeballs out there. And just did one lap. Our lap in our neighborhood, y'all, is like a mile. Yeah. And I probably should have done more than one. Yeah. I was so cold out there, but Here's a highlight. What? I listened to that whole podcast you suggested last week. Oh, that's right. Yes. The Mel Robbins. It's good. And I can't, it's whatever the episode is right before the new year. I think there's one the 25th and one the 29th. It is so good and it's kind of analysis of your past year so you can, just make some great priorities and goals for the upcoming year. And you had said that one of them was go back and look in your journal, or I'm sorry, your camera roll as kind of a visual. Journal and that I didn't do it of course while I was driving or while I was walking, but it was so so good So I'm gonna let the listeners know I will post that I will find it and somehow post it in the show notes So if you don't want to listen to it, you could it's a good listen, uh, you know, I was on that girls trip Whatever, a couple weeks ago and I was telling all of them about it and a couple of them that morning, one morning on our trip, they went and listened to it and that was really good. I actually like wrote down all the things and, I'm going to do it. So it was seven questions to ask yourself. And of course I'm going to listen again, so I can write them down or go to the transcript and write them down. it was really practical. I think it was really intentional anyways, it's a good, and I think it's also on her Instagram page, maybe with a seven. Yeah, where you can kind of scroll through the post and see them all. If you are like, I need to write these down real quick and do them. Or if you don't have time to listen to a whole, it's like an hour long podcast, maybe more. Yeah, but it's good. It's a good listen. Yeah. Nothing spiritual there, but like just good practical, like how to hit that. The ground running in the new year, not hit the ground running in the new year, like figure out what needs to happen, right? Yes. It was really good. And maybe I'll look up on the socials. That might be a little easier to find the questions, but, and I did it in a couple walks, like I started yesterday, finished today. So, you know, it's good. I'll post it. Okay. Well, y'all, as we mentioned last week, we're in season three. Yay. I'm so excited about that. And we decided we're going to be talking about spiritual formation for this, season. So the episodes will be geared around that and it might sound intimidating or heavy. It's kind of a big word. Yes. Spiritual formation. it sounds like pretty crazy. We're spiritual giants. We aren't. Nope. But we do do spiritual formation practices, which, really what that is, it just helps us grow to look more like Jesus and know more about him and, behave more like him. It brings freedom and empowerment. These are all like good things. So, it sounds fun. Not intimidating. Yeah, it's going to be good. So we're going to show you in the upcoming episodes. Like I said, a couple of those practices, and then also kind of tell you how we do them and you can do them like that or you could figure it out on your own. Yeah. Yeah. Pray about it and pick up some of your own ideas on how to do those spiritual practices. So today we happen to be talking about the spiritual practice of confession. Ooh. Yeah, I said, it doesn't sound heavy, but that word, it is so heavy. Oh my gosh. So I had written this question down for you, Lili. What do you think people think about when they hear the word confession? I always said co confession, but I don't want to make it, you know. So do big. Yes. So what do you think? So when, Julie told me this at the first word that came to my mind was confession feels kind of scary and kind of vulnerable, honestly, like you're really putting yourself out there. Whether you're confessing to God or confessing to someone else or, you know, whatever it is, it feels kind of overwhelming and scary. So that's what my immediate thought was, is just, oh, that feels really scary. I like that word. I had told you earlier, not that I like being scared, but I had said, In the notes, like, is it a positive or negative that feels pretty sterile, like with no emotion attached, but scary has an emotion attached to it. And it can feel scary. And maybe that's from past confession moments, Or, childhood when we did something naughty or, I don't know. if you had to explain it, confession in this sense, in a spiritual formation sense, what would you say? So I, I was like praying about this, like, Lord, tell me what, like, what is your father's heart for us in confession? Like what, what do you, or what's your hopes that we're getting out of this God? And like, Yeah. How do you love us through that? And I really kind of got this picture of just confession being such a beautiful thing in the life of a Christ follower. And I think it's beautiful because at the fall, man, when the enemy came in, he tempted us and well, like newsflash, Adam and Eve, they fell for it. Right. And all of a sudden. Man began to experience shame and guilt and Adam and Eve literally hid from God like God of all people, beings, whatever, right. Hid from him, the knower of everything, like he knows it all. And here they are grabbing, like just what they can find, to hide from him because they knew they had sinned and they felt ashamed for what they had done. And they just, they grabbed it all because they didn't want to appear naked. And so here's the deal. They obviously didn't even know they were naked until this happened. They were experiencing such freedom in the garden before sin entered the picture. And so. We know that God is full of goodness and he's all knowing and because of this he of course had the perfect plan in place Which is Jesus right and the cross and so God's system is the complete opposite Of the system of shame and guilt instead. He lifts us from our shame and brings us into a place of abundance Honor. Thanks to Jesus in the cross. Yes. So the reason why confession is so important in the life of a Christ follower is because when we sin, we feel shame and guilt and we'll stay there. Like we'll stay stuck in that until we confess. And so, the enemy obviously from the get go wanted us to feel that shame and that guilt and that separation from God. And so, Now we're not in the garden. We're not Adam and Eve anymore. We're just regular people living in the world today. And so he wants us to still stay stuck in that and not experience freedom that we have in Christ. So whether we confess to God or whether that be to a trusted friend, there's just a cycle that will continue to stay in until we allow ourselves to be set free. Because we are free and that freedom, it releases the power of Christ in us, right? And then we can move forward. And so I looked up, the definition of confession and it just is simple. It's the act of acknowledging and asking for forgiveness of one's sin. It's really just straightforward and easy, but yet for us, it's just humans. It's hard. Yeah. So, yeah. You know, I think. Like you had said, the definition you read active acknowledging and asking forgiveness, the acknowledging part is just admitting what God already knows. even in the garden, he knew, you know, when he came to the garden and, called for Adam, where are you? God knew he knew where he was, right. Cause God's sovereign, right. He needed Adam to understand where he was, that Adam had done something that separated him from God. And so we admit what, Our sin is to the Lord and knowing that coming to him doesn't mean necessary something punitive, but it means grace and mercy and tenderness. we just don't, I mean, I, I don't always think that way because it has been a punitive thing. not with him, but in the world, you know, confession again can seem so heavy. And just like any spiritual formation practice, habit, whatever. It's not for God. It's for us. Yes. You know, like God doesn't need anything from us, like it was all taken care of on the cross, but it's for us to be able to look more like Christ, to live more like him, to be able to walk in that abundance and that freedom that we have because of the Holy Spirit living inside of us. So confession isn't necessarily for God or it's not for God at all. It is for us and the freedom that we experience on the other side of it. Yeah. And you had said when we were talking before, we got on mic too, that when you had prayed that you said, I was making the bed and you prayed that prayer, Lord, what's your heart in this? And you said, it's because of his deep love for us. That's why he doesn't want us to feel shame or guilt. That's what his death on the cross freed us from. and because of his love for us, he wants us to be whole and to not feel that way. Right. And I had mentioned that, Satan really gets a foothold in, in the dark and in our quietness and anything secret or hidden. Yeah. he can just really wreak havoc. Whatever it is could be a small something. Now, sin isn't small. I'm not saying that. and sin is sin. You know, regardless of magnitude, but it can, it can become something more. It can affect your life deeper. It can affect other people's life more. And I think the louder, and the bigger, maybe the bigger kind of the shame and guilt cloud gets, the more you hold it because somehow he just doesn't. He, meaning Satan, does a great job on our brain, making more fear grow and more fear grow. And so, just that act of confession coming because to the Lord, because he loves us and he wants us not to feel that way or have, worse consequences in our life. we had talked about, we've said a couple of times sin, we even used it in the definition of confession that it was acknowledging your sin and asking for forgiveness. So sin is a, you know, really, tiny word with, um, forgiveness. Giant magnitude. Oh, for sure. So you had mentioned, sins of commission and omission. And so I think we should talk a little bit about that and sin in itself, like sin in the world. Golly, it's hard to, you know, get our heads around because the world may not define, they might not even think there is sin. I, you know, I'm guessing in the world view, but as a Christ follower, we know there is, and even as a Christ follower, sometimes either because of habit or because of culture or because quite literally about what we prefer or want, we don't always call it sin anymore. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. commission sins would be? just sending intentionally or unintentionally, but they're an act, word, or deed. And then omission, is when you don't do something that you know is right to do, you're supposed to do, right? Yeah. You just don't do it. And, sin is we were talking about this earlier when we were prepping for this and I was Julie, golly, this, I feel like we just opened up this huge can of worms, Oh, confession. And then I feel like we need to talk about sin. what is sin? And then, How that affects us and I just think a lot of times, you know, 50 years ago Sin, sin was like there were just more blatant sins And I think the world has just changed so much that I think even things that maybe were just really loud sinful things 50 years ago So I probably don't recognize that even as sin today, right? And so, or people would, like you said, loud and recognize more people and their populace would call it that would call it sin. Yes. Right. And as in prepping for all this, I was like, Oh Lord, like what are, what are things in my life that I just don't even recognize as sinful anymore? Or maybe I kind of know, Oh, should I be doing that or watching that or whatever? And I just kind of brush past it because it just has become so ingrained in our culture or just the Western way of life, I think about things like these are the things that caught my attention personally, but just like what I watch, what I'm watching on TV, Netflix, whatever, what shows I'm watching. And then also materialism, just wanting, wanting something new for the sake of wanting something new or, wanting the stress or even like, Like, I, I know, in the 10 commandments, we talk about like covening your neighbors, blah, blah. And I remember always being like, Oh, covet. That's so silly. I would never covet anything. It is such an old world. But I do, I covet things. I think, Oh, I wish I had that. Or, Oh, that their house is so nice. Or, Oh, you know, just even not to the degree of like, like, Oh, I want that so bad. It just kind of like, Oh, that their house is really nice. And just not even thinking about where my mind is. Then goes mentally is like, Oh, well, my house just isn't that big or my house isn't that nice or whatever it turns into. And then I'm like, Oh, and now I'm ungrateful for what God's even given me, I'm so grateful that I have the house that I have and live on the street that I live on. This is exactly where I'm supposed to be nowhere else. And so just the way that sin can just so easily creep into our lives without us even being able to see it. I think it becomes a habit. And not all habits I think are distinguishable by ourselves because we're in our own individual paradigm. I mean, I just do me, I just live life. I don't have the ability to look or view into my life, as an onlooker. And so it can become, habitual. I also think for me, there's, maybe sin that has been, deep or been there for a long time that it, it forms somehow. it's a part of maybe. Who I am on my personality, but as That's maturing. Not like I'm so mature, but spending time with the Lord and allowing other things to kind of be unearthed and cleared out and brush taken away. Now these ones are closer to the surface. And so I pay attention to, not all the time, but I try and pay attention to, How I, react to something because it's attached to something. If my reaction is envy or if my reaction is insecurity, I can see more clearly now because some other things again have been brushed away, some other, Kind of baggage that now that reason is closer to the surface for me. It's just a little easier maybe to Know it's there. So it's not such a habit It's not just wrote like when this happens I always feel this in my gut or when this happens I always acted this way when I don't necessarily need to and now I want to know why I'm doing that But some of that I really hope is because of like pastime and confession You With the Lord. Yeah. That he's helped clear some of that, those other heavy, sinful things away so that I can work on kind of the core issue of what's going on. It's your spiritual formation. It's you being formed, being formed more into the likeness of Jesus. It's what it is. that's how we grow. And then we begin to recognize things and we recognize places in our lives where, maybe we need healing or maybe we need, Or for me in this particular instance, it's really believing the character of God. And we have talked about this before that he's a God of abundance. He's not a God of scarcity. And whenever I feel envy or, or insecurity, it's because I feel like he's not going to have enough for me for blessings for other people mean that he's run out. Sorry, Julie, your last in line. That's not what happens. And so it's just believing the character of God. and that comes from, we need to know his character. You should, read the Bible and understand who he is, feed ourselves. But for me, the core is recognizing who he is, who he says he is. we had talked about, my kids are a little older and so I remember when my oldest, and I told Lili, I wish I would've wrote down the year cause it'd be so interesting. It'd be an interesting study for someone, who wants to, I probably could look. Oh darn. I should've looked it up! sorts of random stuff. It's probably on this too. Yeah. Well, I noticed that she, would use the word feel in replace of think. So we're, as I would say, I think we should go to dinner at seven instead of eight 30. And I think it was post, college, I call it, I wish I can remember how old she was, but she brought home. I feel like we should go to dinner at seven instead of eight 30. And I took note of it. Like it was that stark of a difference for me in my own thinking or speaking as well as hers. It was a new thing. but then it exploded. Everybody was feeling about what pants to wear and feeling about which class to take and feeling about what's for dinner. Yeah. Feeling like. We're going to be late, but it was interesting because it's a shift, from cerebral to emotional where it used to be not all the time because emotions are very strong, but they do lie to us. So, I could think about something. And then go, Oh, I'm feeling this way about whatever doesn't always go like that, but it just seemed like a replacement of the cerebral to, I'm going to feel about it and how I feel about it is going to govern what I do about it, which sometimes can put us in dangerous waters. Yeah. but I thought it was interesting of that shift and then, and I don't know if it's correlated again, I got to find a study if it's, correlated with. and I'm not being discouraging to people. Self care is a real thing. Yeah, I get it. Yeah. But then we have this wave of self care and, it matters how I feel about my opinion and it matters how I feel about self care. It matters how I feel about me and what I feel matters more versus. thinking of other people before yourself. Yeah, we've become very self focused. It's funny when Julie brought this up, I was Oh, that, that's my language. I almost in response to what she said was like, I feel like, and then I was like, Oh, I feel like maybe you got something there. I'm going to say this back to her, like not on purpose, but I do think that that is my language is that I, I feel like blah, blah, blah. And. But I do think that there has been a huge shift in like margin like, Oh, do I have margin for that? Or Oh, whatever, instead of putting others before ourselves, but there now this balance there. So it's so tricky. Like, yes, you do need margin. You don't need to overextend yourselves because people that do have margin built into their lives can give more freely to other people because. Yeah, right. So, I mean, there's a lot of, there's a lot we could like dive into there, but yeah, I do think all of a sudden there's been this shift to like the self and how I feel and my truth and all of those kind of things. Well, I think that's, I mean, I don't know. I'm no statistician. Yeah. But. If we feel that whatever it is, what we used to think was sin, but we feel like that's unkind. Now we shouldn't label that sin or we feel like, I don't know. I just don't feel like that's right. Well, we've replaced what we know cognitively of God's word. And I've made myself the, one who gets to decide what feels like sin and what doesn't feel like sin rather than what he says in his word. Yeah. Um, anyways, that's, that's so hard. And so true. And we can all do it. Yeah. I mean, I do it all the time. Yeah. And in our, in our own, in like kind of little world bubble, not even just cultural theology, but our individual theology of I'm going to screen that God, what you said in your word through how I feel about that. Yeah. And I'm gonna let you know if I agree or not. That doesn't safeguard us. That's not the best for us. I was thinking when I was a little girl, you're just kind of conditioned to be secret, kind of hide your sin. I remember one time, this is so funny, this came to mind, but we were at a friend's house and I had gone potty and the toilet paper rolls were like stacked up on the back of the toilet, I guess. I mean I had to have been there. Four or five like I was young you remember this That's I do because I remember one toppled off and it landed in the potty and it soaked up You know, it gets real and I thought oh, so I just took it out and I just set it back up there You know, it's all soppy and I didn't tell anybody Yeah, cuz I felt it was so wrong. Like I don't know. I just have never seen a toilet paper roll in toilet I guess I don't know. But I thought, Oh God, I have to hide that. I can't ever let my mom know that or the, my friend's mom, either she'll be mad at me and mom will think I wasn't respectful or, and so you hide because we're, I don't, you know, I guess maybe because you are disciplined when you're little, when you do something wrong, there's a discipline. So in our brains, I think we're just conditioned that we don't tell because it's, it's, Again, punitive, it's going to be bad if we tell anybody. So whether my mom You're afraid of being punished. Yeah. So whether my mom found out or not, I was still being punished because I held it. Like I felt bad about it. And this is just a little four or five year old person. there's bigger things that we still have to kind of undo our thinking. is it Hebrews that talks about that? I'm going to find the verse. Oh, it's, let us approach God's throne of grace with confidence. This is Hebrews 416. so that we may receive mercy and find grace to find us in our help. Or our time of need, you know, it doesn't say to find, discipline and mercy and grace or to find punishment along with mercy and grace, you know, approach the throne boldly with what you have to find mercy and grace. But again, it's undoing of our thinking. That's so hard. I remember in college, I was a part of this Bible study, Auburn. It was awesome, but it really, It changed me. It changed my walk with God. It changed my, my spiritual journey because up until that point, I had a relationship with God. I mean, I really did. And then I went off to college and I did this Bible study and it was all about just being able to look at my old self and my old former way of life, which was sin and death, and then. Uh, my new way of life and my new way of thinking and how my old self, I could fall back into that way of thinking, but that's not who I am anymore. And so to be constantly reminded, like this is who you are. You're not this person who is full of sin and death. You're this person who's now full of the Holy Spirit and life. And so think like that and believe that. And when you go back into your old way of thinking, remember, no, that's my old way of thinking. I'm not that person anymore. I'm a new creation. And it, it changed things for me when all of a sudden I was like, Oh, this is what this Bible verse means. I am a new, literally a new creation. The old way is gone. The new way has come. And so now my mind is being renewed every day to be more like Jesus and spiritual formation. These things that we're talking about today, confession, whatever it is, these habits and practices that we have are just helping us to, to be renewed and to be more like him. And so hopefully one day our old self will be kind of like sloshed off to the side and we really can live. Most of the hours and minutes of our day as a new creation in him. Well, and confession reminds us of who we are in him, It reminds you, Oh yeah, I'm not that I'm this, and as this child of Christ, I act like this. Yeah. it just is re reminding us of who we are, of our new self in him. versus who we used to be. I do this with my kids a lot. When they do something they're not supposed to do or are behaving in a certain way, I will look at them a lot and be like, that's not who you are. Oh, that's good. You are not, you know, I don't know. You are not disobedient. You are not just blatantly rude to your brother. that's not who you are. That's so good. You're kind and sweet and loving and you love her brother. So that's how. You should be talking like, not like that other person, because that's not who you are. And so in the same way, I feel like God is like, that's not who you are lately. Like when you're gossiping about a friend or beating yourself up or whatever, that's not who you are. You are a new creation. You are a new creation in Christ because I sent my son to die for you because I love you that much. And so. Live in that. Walk out in that. Don't worry about that other stuff. That's not who you are. Yes, that's so good. A good parenting counsel and good You know, I do that with my third child. I don't think I did that with my first. Well, they're hearing it. They're hearing it. You know, you learn a lot with every single one. It's like, my first child, she's going to be in therapy and it's going to be just You can apply it now. Even today, I called her a guinea pig. We're like, figuring out high school. Oh, cool. Registration and all this stuff. And we were talking to this person at church about like, what do I do? You know, I pulled this girl who's a high school senior aside and was like, can you tell us what, what classes did you take when you were a freshman? And poor Laney's standing there overwhelmed. And I'm like, what do we do? And I looked at Laney, I was like, I'm sorry, you're the guinea pig. we've got to figure this out for you. By the time Kate and Emmy get to high school, they're like, yeah, yeah, yeah, you just take this class, that class, blah, blah, blah. And it's fine. We'd apologize to Chelsea already. We're like, we're so sorry, honey. I know. She's our oldest. So we did the best we knew how to do and we practiced on you. Thank you. Yes. JV team. I know. Gosh. JV. They're not JV. Chelsea, you're not JV. You're a Bosch team. Well, I want to just mention a few verses from the Bible that talk about confession. So you don't just think Lili and I are just like blah, blah, Yeah. so you all may know this one is 1 John 1, 9, and this is such a comfort. If we confess our sins, he who is faithful and just will forgive our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. That is just a precious verse. My husband will remind me of that one a lot. He's got that memorized. So, and then, Psalm 32 five, then I acknowledged my sin to you and I did not hide my iniquity. I said, I will confess my transgressions to the Lord and you forgave the guilt of my sin. Again, that was Psalms 32 five and then one more. Proverbs 28, 13, whoever conceals their sin does not prosper, but the one who confesses and renounces, they find mercy. Hmm. Those are good. Thanks for sharing this. Yes. And we see it throughout the new and old Testament. one particular new Testament verse I wanted to grab hold of was James 5, 16. And it just talks about this communal part of confession to, we've talked about that. We confess our sins to the Lord and he is tender and he is kind and he is merciful. and then this first talks about, sharing them with a confidant or a trustworthy friend so that they can encourage and support and pray for you and, act as some sort of accountability and follow up for you. So that's what this James 16 verses and it says, Therefore, confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you'll be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective. I just, I love that. And we see that there's two, pieces to this that need to confess, as well as pray for each other and that confession. So I thought about it yesterday a little bit, but I didn't. Really apply it to this, topic today until the light bulb came on. I had text Lili today. I had a hospital visit over the holiday, which you may have learned of in our last episode, but I have some dietary restriction and, there's some reintroducing of food and all this business. And I just have some trepidation about it. And I realized I am, I have some fear about it. And, which is ironic because my word of the year is. It's fearless. I think I did that for a reason. I know. Oh my gosh. So we're like one weekend. I'm like, Oh, fearless. I'm so afraid. I'm so afraid. so anyways, I told Lili that I had texted her. She's probably at church, but I texted her this morning and, said that and then just asked her to pray for me. and two other distrusted friends, to pray for me too, that, I know will not offer judgment, but we'll offer prayer. And so, sometimes we invite the community of God in maybe not the, you know, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know if it's eight people, but a trusted friend into, that prayer for us just to, to help us. So yeah, I'm gonna have you to share a little bit about, when you do confession, like how do you do it? confession is confessing our sins, but how you do that? Do you do it on a walk? Do you do it during quiet time? So how do you, how do you do it? So, I mean, obviously. When I'm confessing my sins to the Lord, it's usually through a time of prayer, and then, you know, I mean, I talk a lot about this, but I go on long walks. And so that's a lot of times when I have time to think and things kind of can come to the surface. So I would say, usually on a long walk, I'll be like, Oh, Hmm, yikes. Or if it's something that I do feel the need to share with a friend, it's usually on a walk with a friend. Y'all sound like I'm like a walk a marathon kind of person. I see you out there a lot. I do a walk a lot, but yeah, so typically it's on a walk with a friend. and another thing that I have found to be helpful to is I do have a trusted friend and we do often say, what are my blind spots? And I think that is a good way to kind of maybe See yourself from the outside and be able to recognize some sin in your life that maybe you didn't realize was there And so I think that can be really helpful too It's just having a now this has to be a really good trusted friend somebody that you're not gonna be easily offended By if they're like, oh, no. Yeah, I'm pointing out the sin in your life Like jeez, that's like they gotta be a good friend So find somebody like that in your life if you can but you know You Two, just also asking God to reveal it to you. Mm-hmm Is also super, super helpful. But mine is typically in, I'm typically moving my body. Mm-hmm I don't know. That's just, that's how I work Wired. It's how you were gonna say that's typical for you, Mm-hmm To go for a walk to settle your mind. Yeah. Yeah. Well, mine's in prayer too, of course, but, Oftentimes, I do mine at nighttime, so I'm in the bed, so maybe I've done my bowel reading that day during the day. So you're not moving. I'm not. Isn't that interesting? Yeah. We're opposite. I know. I didn't even recognize that. But the lights are out, I, I don't have like something to clean or something to stack or fold or right or, And I used to, to kind of retract the day. So start in the morning and think through what happened today. And where have I been? Who have I been with? And, sometimes it's not that in depth. Like I said, sometimes it's Lord, just please forgive me for how I hurt you today or how I moved in pride today or selfishness I used to, but again, I haven't done it for a while and I think I may do it again. Just pray for the Lord to show me, recognize ways maybe that I have, sin during the day that I didn't even notice. Like we talked about habitual or it's part of kind of how our, kind of how we roll, we just don't always notice it. so to pray for that too, so that I can pay attention to Maybe those sins of omission to, you know, I just didn't do something I've not ever prayed that. Yeah. I mean, where I had lack of action, where he wanted me to do something right or just or helpful, or I just haven't prayed that. So that's, that's definitely, needs to go on my list for prayer time. So mostly mine's at night. Sometimes like if I've been a real jerk, like I just hard at Lance or something, oftentimes right then. Like, I'm like, Lord, please forgive me. And please give me courage to. Apologize, like to part my lips to say, please forgive me, honey, cause it might still be upset about something. So it's a contrast. So in the dark and the peace and sleep or dark of my room, or if I've been a. You know, a poop and I need to do it right then, but, typically, yeah, how it goes for me. Yeah, let's talk a little bit, I mean, we're almost, oh my gosh, we're almost at time sis, but benefits. What are we getting out of this? We talked about it. God wants us to have freedom from shame and from guilt. And there's the other, benefits. we're moving in obedience to God. We mentioned just a couple of scriptures that ask us to have confession. And so we're being obedient in that. Have accountability and support from friends when we do it, like the James first talked about. We, we're growing, like you said, we're growing in spiritual formation and maturity when we do it. So there's lots of benefit in, confession. And I think it's just, again, recognizing, while we gain freedom and mercy and grace, those are his character. Yeah. So we are gaining those things and we're actually learning more of who he is. Absolutely. In the same transaction. Yeah. Which is just like God to do something like that. I love that. Yeah. Well, as we wrap this episode up, we just want to encourage you guys to. confess this week and the steps I would say maybe to take would be just first just asking God to help you recognize the sin in your life. I mean I'm like I said I'm a busy mom of three and often I don't think about my own sin I'm just busy moving from one thing to the next and so maybe I was maybe there's some sin in my life that I just I'm not seeing maybe I'm insecure and so that's why I was acting a certain way or I'm fearful and so I'm acting a certain way. I, I obviously recognize the sin when I'm like screaming at my kids, like, like Julie said, or screaming, I was like, Oh, I'm sorry. Can you please forgive me? I'm just, you know, overwhelmed in the moment and I'm really sorry. And kids are so quick to forgive and bless them. They're full of grace. But just maybe, you know, Asking God, show me places in my life where there is sin, and I'm just not seeing it. And then taking some time and carving it out for confession, just confess to God, just pray and tell him what all is going on and what's on your heart. This is no news to him, right? Like this is things he already knows. And he just wants you to be able to experience the peace and the freedom that's on the other side of that confession. And so just tell him. Yeah. And then if you are struggling with maybe just some habitual sin or things that just need accountability, I would say, talk to a friend, find a trusted friend and talk to them about it and say, Hey, I really, I'm struggling with this in this area of sin. And can you just help me? Can you hold me accountable? Can you pray for me? Like Julie did, like she reached out to us today and asked us to pray for her because she was struggling with fear. And of course, we all immediately are like, yes, we're praying for you, And so I think, just recognizing where your sin is and then carving some time out for confession. And then if you need to take it a step further and talk with a friend or even a step further than that, if you feel like you need counsel or, extra help. Yes, definitely reach out. There's resources at churches and all sorts of places where you can find help So don't don't just stop there right take it a step further, right? Yeah and I would say to sometimes there are Sins that they just keep coming up like, darn it, you're really trying, you're trying to agree with the Lord on it. And you continue to confess it and you come back again, you confess it. Keep on doing that. Just keep on coming back. Keep on confessing. he knows your heart. He's going to offer you grace. continue to confess it and just, you know, Just ask for help, from him. And again, if you need additional help, a trusted friend, and just a little side note that I think is important here is that, as women it's, I think it's of utmost importance we find another woman to confide in. And, I would even venture to say if you have, a male pastor, which a lot of us do, there's somebody else, they have someone else on staff that will be trusted. Maybe our counselor and staff or the pastor's wife, or if you don't have a trustworthy or confidant close friend where you live yet or something, but anyways, just to, just to safeguard. Yes, definitely safeguards for sure. Well, this has been a super helpful conversation. I know for myself and for Julie, just digging deeper into this confession and the spiritual formation and the practice that that brings to our lives and just how it makes us. Become more like Jesus because that's our goal. Yes. So thank you guys for being at the table with us today. And if you enjoyed today's discussion, would you consider leaving a review or rating or share the podcast with a friend? We would just love that so much. It would make our day. So remember you guys, you have a seat at our table every time at any time. We hope you have the best week and we'll see you next time at my Tennessee table.